Say You Love Me (To My Face)
by Librarybelle
Summary: Modern AU : Actor Killian Jones has given up on love after the death of his wife Milah. But one day he meets Emma Nolan, also widowed, and he starts to think there may be such a thing as a second chance with love. Can their relationship survive their broken hearts from past relationships, his life in the spotlight, and the constant attacks of tabloid journalist Mr. Gold?
1. Chapter 1

_**Actor Killian Jones has given up on love after the death of his wife Milah. But one day he meets Emma Nolan, also widowed, and he starts to think there may be such a thing as a second chance with love.**_

 _ **Can their relationship survive their broken hearts from past relationships, his life in the spotlight, and the constant attacks of tabloid journalist Mr. Gold?**_

* * *

 _Darkness was closing in on her, smoke choking her lungs and the heat and noise of fire was everywhere, Emma was in full panic mode, heart thumping out of her chest, eyes wide frantically looking for her husband, "Neal!"._  
 _"Emma!" she could hear his voice over all the noise around her. "Emma! You need to let me go!"_

 _"No! You can't leave us!" She sobbed_

"Emma"

"Emma..."

"Emma...Emma look! I can see Vancouver we're almost there" Mary Margaret said excitedly shaking her friend from her sleep.

"W..what? Oh, sorry I didn't think I'd fall asleep!" Emma said groggily. She looked at her kids sleeping peacefully and sighed with relief, and a little envy, she hadn't had a good night's sleep since the accident.

Mary Margaret smiled sympathetically at her, "it's ok; you're still having nightmares?"

"Yeah" Emma rubbed her eyes, "it's been 10 months now, and I still have them every time..." Her words drifted off as she looked out the plane window. The view was stunning. She followed the sun's rays down as it shone brilliantly on the land below.  
They started planning this trip almost a year ago. Every week for almost 5 years they had gotten together to watch the tv show "Ever After" bonding over their love of fairy tales. So much had happened over those 5 years, Emma had her two beautiful children, and Mary Margaret married David Nolan, Neal's brother, making her and Emma not just best friends but now sisters too! But those 5 years also saw their share of sorrow. Just 10 months ago Neal died in the line of duty. The firefighter was called out to a burning apartment building and managed to get all the occupants out safely but the building came down on him before he could exit. He died a hero, and that moment Emma's world turned upside down.

It was Mary Margaret's idea to still go ahead with the trip, her friend needed a change of scenery and going to a convention for a tv show that represented hope with a beautiful Canadian backdrop was exactly what her friend needed.

Emma gently nudged her son Henry awake, "hey buddy, we're about to land".

He sat in the make-up chair staring at his reflection; even with his guy liner you could see the tiredness in his eyes. He loved his job, it was his escape from reality and recently he had really needed an escape.

His phone buzzed next to him, he picked it up and for the first time today a small smile formed. He looked at the picture of his son, dressed up as a pirate, dark black hair, toothy smile, and dimples, with the caption "like father, like son". His smile grew sad; Liam was growing up so fast. Killian let out as sigh and looked back at his reflection, looking back was Captain Hook, his current role he was playing. He had been many things in his life; actor, musician, celebrity, husband, father, friend. However now two new titles had been forced upon him; widower and single dad. He flicked through the pictures on his phone until he got to the last one of Milah, it was from a year ago when they went on a hike. God, how he missed that smile, and her laugh. They looked so happy, completely unaware that just 3 weeks later she'd be killed by a drunk driver.  
He put his phone away, time to push those thoughts away and prepare himself to portray a loved up pirate fighting for his werewolf princess.

It was a long day shooting in the cold and rain. Every inch of Killian's body ached, apart from his hands and feet which he lost feeling in hours ago. He started the long walk to his trailer stopping on his way to greet fans who had come to watch filming. It was important to him to let the fans know they were appreciated. Before he would have joked around with them and been his usual goofy self but since Milah died he'd lost that part of him, so instead he talked quietly with them, signed autographs, took selfies and gave hugs.  
He reached the end of the line and saw two women next to a pram, one holding a sleeping child in her arms. It was 9:30pm and he just wanted to get out of his costume and make up and back home but kids were his soft spot, and the mother looked almost as tired as he did, who knew how long they'd been standing there. He walked towards them smiling and apologised

"Sorry to keep you waiting, thank you for coming out here to support the show."

"No thank you!" Mary Margaret said beaming "we're here for the con this weekend but wanted to come watch the filming today, we just love your show..." She rambled on.

Killian smiled then turned to look at the other woman, her blonde hair shone in the moonlight and her eyes, though heavy, were striking green, she blushed and said "my son wanted to see a real pirate, I need to wake him or he'll never forgive me" she gently nudged the sleeping boy, "Henry, he's here, wake up. Captain Hook wants to say hello", the boy shifted in her arms lifting his head up and blinking a few times before sliding down from her arms and looking up at the pirate in awe.

Killian squared down to his height and said "well hello Henry, it's a pleasure to meet you"

Henry's face lit up, "it's a pleasure to meet you, captain sir!" He lifted his hand to his head in salute.

Killian smiled then went straight back into character "tell me lad, how old are you?"

"4 years and a 1/4 sir" 4 years old, just like Liam.

Killian continued "well Henry if you're good for your mum, do your chores and work hard in school I'm sure you'll grow up to be a fine sailor one day!" He gave him a wink and stood back up, his eyes drifting towards the pram, "and who is this?" He asked,

"my little sister, Kathryn" Henry said proudly.

"Little sister..." Killian was suddenly lost in thought, "my wife always wanted a little girl..." He quickly shut his eyes and winced, he was so tired he'd forgotten where he was! He was silently cursing himself for being so candid with fans, then the mother spoke softly,

"my husband wanted a girl too..." She hesitated, questioning if she should continue, "but he died before she was born...I...I'm so sorry you lost your wife, it's...there are no words." Killian was speechless. He looked in her eyes and he saw it, all the pain and loneliness that he had been feeling too. And for the first time he'd met someone who truly understood the hell he was living. "Thank you for coming to say hi, can Henry get a picture with you?" Emma asked, changing the subject quickly.

"Of course" he replied, pulled back into reality, and did a pirate pose with the young boy. Mary Margaret got a picture with him too. Then he said goodbye but as he started to walk away he heard the boy ask his mother if he could be carried again. Without hesitation she picked him up in her arms. Killian stopped, he knew she was tired, he was tired too but he turned around and said "please, would you let a pirate carry you to your car Henry?"  
"Oh, thank you but that's really not necessary, I'm sure you've had a long day!" Emma interrupted  
"Please mum, please!" Henry begged  
"It would be my pleasure; that is if you're ok with me carrying your son" Killian assured her.

She looked at her sons pleading eyes and agreed. Killian took him into his arms and walked them to the car.  
"Thank you so much" Emma said as Killian gently set Henry, who had fallen asleep again, in the car.  
"Well enjoy your time in Vancouver ladies!"  
He put his hand up to wave goodbye and walked back towards his trailer, as he drove home that night his mind kept wandering back to those sad green eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Just thought with the summer of conventions kicking off this weekend it'd be fun to write a con panel into the story. To all you lucky con-goers who are going to meet your idols, have an awesome time!**_

* * *

"Dad! Dad! Wake up! Let's play Lego!" Liam was jumping up and down on his father's bed. Killian opened one eye to look at his son bouncing around, where did he get his energy from?!

He let out a sleepy groan, "let's play sleeping lions" Killian rolled over.

"Noooo Dad, that's borrrring! Wake up! Wake up!" Liam pleaded.

Killian pretended to be asleep, mock snoring. Liam crawled up to his face and just when their noses were about to touch, Killian let out a mighty roar and grabbed his son pulling him in for a tight hug, Liam squealed with delight. His phone buzzed on the side table, he glanced at it then said "right, Robin, Regina, and Roland will be here at 12, if we go get breakfast now that should leave us with a couple hours of Lego construction, what do you say to some pancakes?"

"Yey, pancakes!" Liam rushed out the room; Killian combed his fingers through his bed head hair, and let out a yawn as he followed his son to the kitchen.

"We're here!" Mary Margarert exclaimed as they walked through the front door of the vacation home.

"Uncle David!" Henry ran into his uncle's arms laughing as he was thrown into the air and spun around.

"How was your flight?" Emma asked as she reached out to give her brother-in-law a hug

"It was good thanks, sorry I couldn't come with you guys yesterday but I was booked a year ago for that event. But I'm here now and reporting for babysitting duty! When do you girls leave?" he asked.

Emma glanced at her watch, "we have about an hour before we have to go."

"Well you guys get ready for your geekfest, I have a fun filled day planned for my nephew and niece".

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes. "Whatever, you're just jealous we'll be rubbing shoulders with famous actors, Emma really hit it off with one particularly dashing pirate last night" she winked at her friend. Emma blushed.

"Oh really?" David teased "I leave you guys for a day and you already get yourself a new man, when do I get to meet him and ask what his intentions are?!"

This time it's Emma rolling her eyes, "You guys are ridiculous, it wasn't like that, he was just being nice"

She decided to ignore the goofy smiles on Mary Margaret and David's faces and headed upstairs to get ready. She threw open her suitcase and stared at the contents, she eventually decided on some jeans, boots, sweater and a leather jacket. Now to tackle her hair, her fingers got to work braiding her long blonde locks into a fishtail; that was better. It was silly, she knew, but she wanted to look good in case she saw Killian Jones again, last night she was exhausted and hadn't had time to freshen up since their long haul flight and she must have looked awful. She didn't know why she cared so much but today she would look better!

"You're unusually quiet" Robin observed. His best friend had barely spoken a word on the car ride to the convention,

"Missing my witty banter, mate?" Killian flashed a toothy smile

"That's more like it! Seriously though, is something on your mind?" Robin asked. Killian knew this was something his friend wouldn't understand.

"I just had a sleepless night, I'll be fine, don't worry. I'm saving my energy for the convention."

Robin knew his friend wasn't giving him the whole story but he dropped it, he would talk when he was ready.

"How about you and I grab some beers tonight?" He asked instead. Killian raised an eyebrow and grinned at his friend, he knew Robin wasn't done prying but he went along with it, "aye mate, 'sounds good!"

They drove up to the conference centre and saw hundreds of fans lined up, phones out ready to catch a glimpse of the stars. Robin turned to Killian, with a huge grin, "ready stud?"

Killian rolled his eyes, "I don't think I'll ever get used to this, besides you're the dreamy one!"

Robin fluttered his eyelashes "aw that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me"

"Come on idiot, let's say hello" Killian laughed as he opened the car door to the sound of cheering. He waved, stopped to sign autographs and made his way inside. Robin played the crowd, goofing off and loved every second of the attention. Once they got inside they were greeted by an event organiser and quickly briefed on where they needed to be.

Robin, Killian, and Ruby were all sitting on stools, microphones in hand answering fan questions. The panel had been light hearted and fun so far and even Killian, who always found these situations intimidating, was feeling relaxed and enjoying himself. A young female fan was next in line and asked, "This is a question for Killian and Ruby, how does it feel to be voted TV's hottest couple this year?" Killian blushed and nervously scratched behind his ear, there were constant rumours that the co-stars were also a couple off-screen which was never the case.

Ruby jumped in to save her friend, "I for one just feel really blessed to have a co-star that I trust and work well with, it's great to get recognition for our work and I'm proud that our character's relationship is one people connect with so well" she smiled encouragingly at Killian.

He cleared his throat "eh, yeah. I mean it's great to get the recognition, like Ruby said, and we know that the fans are a huge part of that, and that's something we don't take for granted. Ruby is a joy to work with, she's such a professional it makes me act better" he exhaled the breath he had been holding in. Ruby was so much better at answering these questions, he was glad she was there!

The next fan stepped forward and asked "Do you guys think that Captain Hook and Red Riding Hood will live happily ever after?"

Killian started this time, "well I mean we don't write the story, so we don't actually know, what do you guys think? Will they live happily ever after?" The room filled with cheers, whoops, and whistles,

Robin added "I ship it!" Prompting laughter from everyone including Ruby and Killian. Then Ruby said, "I feel like true love will always prevail" this met another resounding cheer.

The next fan stepped forward and Killian recognised her as one of the women he met after filming.

Mary Margaret asked, "This is a question for all of you, do you believe in Soulmates?"

Killian's mind went straight to Milah, he didn't know how to answer, he'd already lost the love of his life at age 35, and he couldn't imagine moving on from that and loving anyone as much. Ruby shot Robin a look and he quickly came to the rescue, "I'll tell you what I believe in" Robin said, "Bromates!" He wrapped his arm around Killian and kissed him on the cheek, the audience laughed and Killian, happy for the distraction played along giving Robin an exaggerated wink and squeezing his knee. Ruby spoke up, "Every love story is beautiful but Robin and Killian's is my favourite" more laughter filled the room. Emma followed Mary Margaret in the line, she began to speak and Killian looked up, "um...you film in such a beautiful location, my question is what is your favourite setting to shoot in?" She asked shyly. Killian looked at her, yes she was definitely the woman he spoke to last night; he sat up straighter, why did she make him feel nervous? She was biting her bottom lip in anticipation of their answers and she looked adorable. Killian couldn't help but smile.

Robin answered first, "I shoot a lot of scenes in the woods which are really cool, especially at night", Ruby then added, I really like the mountain scenes I shot during my back story earlier this season". Killian was still staring at Emma and then realised everyone was waiting for his answer "oh, um, well I always feel at home by or on water so I guess it's good I play a pirate. I love night-time scenes on the dock, especially when the smoke machines are on and it's all misty and eerie". He watched her as she said thanks and headed back to her seat.

"Ok guys that's all we have time for" one of the event hosts said, "in room 2b there will be an opportunity to get autographs and photos with the cast. Then Ruby and Killian's panel will start at 2:30pm".

The cast walked off stage and the room began to clear. Once they were behind closed doors Ruby gave Killian a hug, "you're doing great" she encouraged her friend. Killian exhaled, "thanks Ruby, I feel more at ease when you're up there too, you're such a natural at these things" she smiled and squeezed his hand, "I've got your back Killian, but you've nothing to worry about, your fans adore you. So next panel let's give them what they want" she put her hand in the air for a high five "team Werecaptain" , Killian smiled and high fives her repeating "team Werecaptain".

Emma was next in line, with poster in hand she watched Killian chat to the fan before her, he was wearing a navy shirt with the top few buttons undone revealing a necklace and some chest hair. The shirt made his blue eyes stand out even more, he combed his fingers through his hair and smiled at the fan, he looked every part movie star. Emma felt nervous, she wasn't sure he would remember her, he sees fans almost every day, she didn't want to make a fool of herself so when it was her turn she walked forward and got a picture with him. Once it was taken Killian turned to her and smiled, "no Henry today?"

Emma was amazed, not only did he remember her but he remembered her sons name too! "He's with his uncle but I was wondering if you could sign this for him", Emma handed Killian the poster, on it was a picture of Killian, as Captain Hook, at the wheel of the Jolly Roger.

"I'd love to" he said, as he was writing he added, "you know, there is a park, not too far away, called skull rock that is pirate themed, my son loves it...just if you're looking for things to do here with Henry". Emma repeated the name back, "skull rock?" Killian nodded. "I'll check it out, sounds like something Henry would enjoy! Thanks for the tip!" She moved on letting the next fan have their turn.

"Another round please!" Robin gave the bartender a wink, Killian rolled his eyes when the middle aged woman handed over the beers and said "on the house boys".

"You know, I guess there are some perks hanging out with you, mate! Killian slapped Robin on the back and they laughed as they walked back to their table. Then Robin grew serious and cleared his throat, "Look mate, I know you don't like talking about this kind of stuff but I wouldn't be your friend if I didn't ask how you're doing, I know some of those questions today must have made you think of Milah...maybe opened up some wounds?"

Killian smiled sadly at his friend. "You're a good friend Robin, and you're right but that's not what's on my mind...I met someone..."

Robin's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"whoa whoa whoa, not like that!" Killian insisted. "I met someone who is going through the exact same situation I am, her husband died, leaving her with 2 kids, I saw the same pain in her eyes that I've been living with and I just feel like if we talked we could help each other, Dr. Hopper said it would help me to talk about it..."

"Wait !'Her?' You mean a woman? Where did you meet her?" Robin interrupted.

"I met her last night; she was one of the fans watching filming..." He tried to explain.

"A fan?! Killian you've been talking to a fan you just met about this? Are you crazy? If you need someone to talk to you have me...or Ruby, or any of the rest of us"

Killian was getting frustrated, he knew Robin was just looking out for him but he needed to make him understand.

"I know I have you guys, and believe me I don't take it for granted, you've helped a lot, but it's different talking to someone who's been through it. I've barely spoken to her, I don't even know for sure if I'll see her again but I want to, I think we can help each other and I know it sounds corny but I can't help but feel like fate has something to do with it. I'm just looking to befriend her, I'm not ready for anything else, and honestly I don't think I ever will be". He sighed, he could hear himself and even he thought he might be crazy.

Robin looked around then leaned in to talk, "I know you've been through a lot, I've hated watching you in pain and feeling helpless, maybe I've helped you all I can, maybe you do need to talk to someone who's gone through the same thing...just please be careful Killian"

Killian smiled at his friend, "thanks mate and I will. I'm not gonna do anything stupid".

A mischievous grin appeared on Robin's face, "so is she hot?", he teased.

Killian blushed, "I can't say I've noticed" (he had).

"Alright alright, play it coy then, when are you going to see her again"

Killian sighed, "I hope tomorrow, but I can't be sure. I didn't want to just ask a stranger to meet me, so..." He smiled, "I'm leaving this part up to fate"


	3. Chapter 3

"Mum, check this out!" Henry grabbed onto the rope and swung down from the crow's nest to the deck then slid down a huge slide into the sand pit at the bottom.  
"Nice one buddy!" Emma smiled, this place was amazing, and she loved seeing her adventurous son have so much fun. She sat down on the bench next to her daughter sleeping peacefully in her pram. She let out a sigh, sunk down into her seat and sipped her coffee.

She marvelled at her son's resilience towards everything that had happened, he missed his father, but he never lost his faith in happy endings and kept hold of his vitality for life. She was glad, he was such a good kid, Neal would be so proud of him!  
She was lost in thought so didn't notice someone sit beside he until she was pulled back into reality when she heard a familiar Irish accent say, "you guys came!"  
Her head shot around and her jaw dropped when she saw Killian Jones sitting beside her in a tight grey t-shirt, jeans and sunglasses smiling at her; after what seemed like minutes Emma realised she was staring and snapped out of it, blushed and bit her lip, damn he looked good! He looked so good in fact Emma was feeling incredibly intimidated. The best she could do was a stammered "h...hi"

Killian smiled, he realised he made her nervous and found that endearing, truth was he was nervous too, he didn't know where to begin talking to her, he just wanted a listening ear but if they were going to get anywhere she had to feel comfortable around him and he had to stop thinking about the way the sun hit her hair or how her eyes just drew you in or how kissable her lips looked...Bloody hell what was happening to him!

He cleared his throat, "if we're going to keep bumping into each other like this I think it's only fair you tell me your name"  
"Emma Nolan, nice to meet you Mr Jones", she held out her hand.

Killian shook it and said, "please call me Killian", he reluctantly released her hand, "that's my son Liam", he said proudly pointing to a boy about Henry's age with dark curly hair, he and Henry had already started playing pirates together, Henry manning the wheel while Liam climbed the crow's nest. "He's your double!" Emma said as she watched him laughing with her son.  
"Aye" Killian said, "That's what everyone tells me..." He hesitated, "but I see his mother...I guess it's my way of trying to keep her close now she's gone" he admitted.  
Emma looked up at him, he was staring at his son, and she looked back down at her coffee, building herself up for what she was going to say next.  
"My husband was a firefighter; he died last year at work..." Emma swallowed the lump forming in her throat, she still found it hard to talk about, but saying it out loud to a practical stranger was strangely therapeutic. It was Killian's turn to look at her while she continued, "...he saved 23 people, everyone made it out but him..."

Killian put his hand on her arm, "he died a hero"

Emma quickly pulled her arm away "everyone tells me his death made him a hero, but they don't understand...he was already a hero..." Emma was doing all she could to hold back her tears, she didn't want Henry to see her upset and she definitely didn't want to cry in front of Killian Jones!  
Killian felt like an idiot, his heart broke for her, "I'm so sorry I didn't mean...of course he was a hero before...I just meant...Emma, I should have known better, you were right the other night when you said there were no words".

Emma looked up at him, her eyes full with tears. "It's ok" she whispered. She wiped the tears away with her sleeve and laughed nervously, "I'm sorry, you don't even know me and I'm sitting here a tearful mess, I won't judge you if you want to go sit somewhere else!"  
Killian handed her a tissue and said, "now why would I want to do that when I'm just starting to get to know you?!" He hesitated then said, "if it helps to talk I'd be happy to listen" He smiled at her and sat back watching their boys play and giving her a chance to blow her nose and compose herself.

After a few minutes silence Emma started to speak again, "Neal, my husband, he was the love of my life, I can't believe he's gone so soon and I just keep thinking, what now?!"

Killian looked at her sympathetically, he knew the feeling all too well. "Have you found the answer yet?" He asked tentatively.

She chuckled, I'm not sure I ever will, I used to be a nanny, I suppose I could do that again? I've kind of given myself a year off to figure out what I want to do, I've rented out our home and I've been staying with family and travelling a bit too."  
"Is that why you came here?" Killian asked.  
"Mary Margaret, my sister-in-law, and I had this planned before Neal died, we've gotten together every week for 5 years to watch your show and we heard about the convention and decided to book it, it was her idea to still come, she thought the change of scenery would be healthy for me and in her words, 'what could be more appropriate than a celebration of a show all about hope', I swear she and my brother-in-law get paid by the hope commission Every time they say the word!"  
Killian laughed, "Does your brother-in-law watch the show too?"  
"No but he's a motivational speaker, so he's constantly coaching me about positive thinking, truth is, it's been hard for all of us, I lost my husband, he lost his brother. It was a blow to the whole family but I think trying to help me, helps him, you know?"

Killian nodded thoughtfully, "I get that" he had an idea, "would you and your family like to come over to my place to watch the Ireland game tomorrow?" Emma's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "are you serious?! My brother-in-law is from Northern Ireland he'd love to watch it!"

Killian smiled, "I thought I heard a bit of Ireland in your voice"

Emma blushed, "I guess it's a side effect of being married to an Irishman for 7 years"

Henry came running up to his mother with Liam close behind, "Mum! I made a new friend, his names Liam!"

"Hello Liam, it's lovely to meet you, I've just been talking to your Dad".

Liam went over and gave his dad a hug and Henry suddenly recognised him, his eyes widened, "your dad is Captain Hook!"

"Yep!" Said Liam proudly.

Killian laughed, "well boys I just play Captain Hook, you know like you guys were just playing pirates"  
"That must be the coolest job in the world!" Henry said in awe, and then turned to his mother, "Mum I want to be a pretend pirate when I grow up!"

They all laughed. Emma looked at her watch; "right Henry you've got 5 minutes then we have to go meet your Aunt and Uncle" Henry and Liam ran back to the park.  
"Well they certainly seem to get along" Killian observed.  
"They sure do", Emma agreed.  
Killian scratched behind his ear nervously, "so the invitation was genuine, I'd love to have you guys over tomorrow if you're free, if you give me your number I can text you the address". Emma was trying to process the fact that Killian Jones invited her to his home and asked for her phone number. The delay made Killian shift his weight from foot to foot awkwardly. "Um...Emma?"  
"Oh right, that'd be great...if you're sure"  
They exchanged numbers and Emma called Henry over so they could leave. Killian watched them drive away. Robin was going to have a field day with this! He didn't care, he'd watched her and listened while she talked to him and he was sure she was genuine, there was no way she was some crazy fan girl. Was it too much to hope they could be friends, he thought about what she said about her brother-in-law helping her. Maybe helping Emma could bring him some peace about Milah.


	4. Chapter 4

"So what's the plan for tomorrow" David asked his sister-in-law  
"Um...I was thinking we could watch the Ireland game..."  
He raised his eyebrows in surprise, "sounds great, but since when were you a rugby fan?"  
"Well I'm not, but I made a friend here and they invited us all over to watch it", Emma said as casually as she could.  
"You made a friend?! Who? When?" Mary Margaret asked her suspiciously.  
"At the park yesterday, I met another parent...from Ireland, we got talking and he invited us over" Emma was thoroughly enjoying teasing her friends.  
Mary Margaret stared at her friend in disbelief "you want us to go to the house of some guy you just met? Some stranger?!"  
Emma tried as hard as she could not to smile, she walked over to the kitchen and started making some hot chocolates nonchalantly, "well technically that wasn't the first time I met him and technically he's not really a stranger" she emphasised the "technically"'s  
"Ok Emma spit it out, what's going on" David asked her.  
A huge grin spread over Emma's face, "Killian Jones has invited us to his house"  
"WHAAAAAAT?!" Mary Margaret squealed, "Emma, are you serious? But...how...why? Killian Jones!"  
David looked at his wife, confused by her reaction; in fact he was confused by this whole conversation.  
"Can someone enlighten me as to who the hell Killian Jones is and why my wife is this excited?!"  
Emma laughed, "he's an actor on Ever After, we've met him a couple times this weekend between going to set and the con, he was at the park yesterday and has a son Henry's age the boys started playing together, we got to talking, he found out you were also Irish and asked if we'd like to watch the game" Emma looked at her friends who were both looking at her in disbelief "...so do you guys want to go?"  
"YES!" They shouted in unison.

* * *

Killian surveyed the spread of pizzas, chips and dip, Coke, wine, and beers. He hadn't done much entertaining lately, their house was always full when Milah was alive, she was so much better at this! Well it'll do he thought, he looked at the clock, they would be here soon, he felt a little nervous, he wanted Emma to feel comfortable around him and he wanted her family to like him. He flopped onto the sofa and turned the TV onto the European sports channel. Liam came bounding into the room with his buzz light year "to infinity and beyond!" He crawled onto the sofa and jumped on the floor, running around 'zooming' as he went. Milah would never have allowed jumping on the furniture; Killian didn't have the heart to scold him. His phone buzzed, it was a reminder of a meeting tomorrow with a nanny agency. He'd been putting off hiring a nanny but he couldn't keep relying on Regina, she already had her hands full with Roland and he knew her and Robin's date nights had taken a hit because of all the babysitting she did for him. Neither of them would ever complain but it wasn't fair. The buzzer on his gate went and he jumped out of his seat and ran to the intercom. "Hello?" He answered.  
"Hey it's Emma"  
"Hey, Come in, park anywhere"  
He hung up and went to the door, he called out to his son, "Liam, Henry is here!"  
He had no sooner opened the front door when Liam went bounding out, "Henry! Come see my room!" The boys ran in the house and disappeared upstairs.  
"Nice place" Emma chimed as she walked up to Killian,  
"welcome!" He said, "and you must be Mary Margaret and David" he reached his hand out to greet the others, "I've heard lots about you, good things, I promise"  
"Nice to see you again" he smiled at Mary Margaret.  
He looked at David, "and a fellow Irishman!" He patted David on the back, "please, make yourselves at home"

Ireland had pulled back from a rough start and beat Scotland. Killian and David were feeling jolly and the group had moved the party outside, the men attempted to build a fire in the fire pit, even though Killian had run out of matches, after a few failed attempts Mary Margaret had lost patience and moved the men out of the way and started a fire within minutes. Emma was sitting reading to the boys with baby Kathryn on her lap. Killian was watching her when Mary Margaret came up beside him, he felt the need to explain himself; "I've never seen Liam sit still for that long!" He admitted.  
Mary Margaret smiled, "Emma is one hell of a storyteller! She loves books, you can tell by the way she reads them, especially fairy tales...She also had the magic touch with kids, they just flock to her like she's the pied piper, it's like a super power".  
"That's right; she used to be a nanny didn't she?" Killian mused  
"Yeah, she was an awesome one too, she's worked for royalty and politicians, she has some resume!" She boasted about her friend, "that was before she married Neal though; she wanted to be at home for him and their kids".

It was starting to get late, Liam ran to his father, "Dad, Emma says she makes really good hot chocolate, can she make us some before bed...please?!"  
Killian ruffled his son's hair "oh is that so? Well we'll have to all try some of this hot chocolate then! Come on Emma, I'll show you where everything is in the kitchen" Killian led Emma to the house while Mary Margaret and David started making s'mores with the boys.  
"Thank you so much for today" she said as they entered the kitchen, "we've had such a good time"  
"It's my pleasure", he assured her, "it's nice to have a house full again"  
He started to point out different cupboards in the kitchen, "the cocoa is in here, mugs over there, marshmallows in here" he worked his way around the kitchen.  
"And cinnamon?" She asked.  
"Cinnamon?"  
She smiled, "yeah it's my secret ingredient"  
He reached across her to open a cupboard, their faces were close, Emma's nostrils filled with his scent, a mixture of beer, smoke from the fire and his cologne, it was an intoxicating mix, he leaned even closer and whispered "your secrets safe with me" he pulled a small jar of cinnamon out of the cupboard and handed it to her. Was she blushing? He couldn't think about that, he scratched behind his ear, trying to figure out the best way to proceed. "Um Emma"  
"Uh huh", she murmured while mixing all her ingredients together.  
He continued, "I was wondering...it's just, you seemed uncertain of what you were going to do the other day...and I've been looking...well what I mean to say...or rather, ask..."  
Emma looked up at him, where was this going?  
He ran his hand through his hair nervously, "I'm trying to ask you if you would consider being Liam's nanny"  
Emma's jaw hit the floor, "you're offering me a job?"  
"Well yes, I've been looking for a nanny, and you said the other day that's what you do, and Liam seems to like you..."  
"You barely know me!" She interrupted  
He looked her straight in the eyes  
"I trust you Emma; I have a good feeling about this. Don't make a decision now, just think about it, we could meet before you fly home, grab a coffee and talk over details. If you could bring a reference from a past employer that'd be great...that is if you want the job"  
Emma stood and thought for a moment.  
"I can do that, think about it I mean, we fly home on Monday, could you give me a few days to think it over and we could meet before I go, maybe Sunday?"  
"I'm shooting until 8pm on Sunday, is 9pm too late to meet? There is a coffee shop near where we shoot that stays open until 11pm. He looked hopefully at her.  
She smiled, "that would be fine"

They all drank their hot chocolates while Emma told stories by the fire until the boys could barely keep their eyes open then they left. Killian carried Liam to bed, tucked him in and watched him for a moment sleeping peacefully before he left and sent an email cancelling his meeting with the nanny agency.

* * *

Emma pulled up to the coffee shop in her rental car, she grabbed her bag and groaned as she lifted it up onto her shoulder, she had had her friend back home scan and email her references, certificates from training courses, including first aid and every piece of paperwork she could think of that could be relevant...perhaps she went a bit overboard!  
As she pushed open the door a bell jingled and across the room Killian's head lifted up. He was sitting in the back in a booth by the window; he had on jeans and a dark hoodie. Emma walked towards him and slid into the seat opposite him, she hauled out her mountain of papers which met the table with a mighty thud! She looked up at him, her brows furrowed, "Do you always wear guy liner in the evening or is this a special occasion?"

Killian's hand shot to his eyes, he rubbed them lightly and saw the black smudge on his finger, "oh shit! I have a bad habit of forgetting to take it off, I've destroyed many a pillow case crashing at home with it still on"  
"Mm hmm...I know your pain" she empathised.  
Killian laughed, he looked down at the stack of paper in front of him, "well you're certainly thorough!" He raised his eyebrow at her "I'm going to need some coffee for this, what can I get you?"  
"Just a hot chocolate please, with..."  
"Cinnamon" he interrupted  
Emma smiled, "thanks"

Killian came back with the drinks and Emma pulled out a few references for him to read, the more he read the more impressed he was, "you worked for the Royal family in Saudi Arabia?!" Emma nodded, Killian continued, "and who are the Darlings?"  
"He is a business mogul in London" Emma answered. Killian read for a bit longer, Emma looked around the diner while she waited, the decor was quaint, matching its name, "Granny's", there was an older woman behind the counter, Granny, presumably, and an old juke box sat in the corner turning out old classics. Emma looked back to Killian; she couldn't believe how comfortable she felt with him after just a week and a half! If someone told her two weeks ago she'd be having a job interview with Killian Jones she would have laughed in their face! But here she was, and strangely she didn't feel nervous, if there was one area in her life she felt confident in it was her work, she knew she was in high demand before she gave it up and married Neal. Her thoughts were interrupted by Killian,  
"Well this is all very impressive! But after reading this I have to ask, are you sure you want to work for a lowly actor?"  
Emma smiled "well let's hear what you have in mind?"  
Killian breathed in and leaned forward, "here is my offer" he began,  
"You and your children would stay in our home, we have enough rooms for you each to have your own if you wish, though I imagine Liam and Henry may want to share and that's ok, you would be responsible for Liam whenever I'm not home, taking him to and from nursery, his soccer practice, and any outings, you'd also cook, or take him out for his meals. I do all his medical or dental appointments and any school appointments like parents evenings, the producers are good for scheduling me around things like that. Whenever I'm home Liam is my responsibility, I may need you to babysit the odd night or afternoon Robin drags me out to the pub or a soccer game. I'd provide you with a car and a bank account specifically for any expenditures like outings, clubs, petrol for your car and groceries etc, I'd like you to use that to cover yours and your kids expenses too, please feel free to put Henry into a club or sport or anything you think he'd like, I want him to feel at home here and have every opportunity he would have elsewhere" Emma's eyes widened, she was used to working with budgets for the kids she cared for but never one that covered her kids too, mind you she only worked before she had kids, she wasn't sure what the normal procedure would be but she was sure it wouldn't be that generous!  
Killian continued, "I spend most of the year in Vancouver shooting "Ever After", however when I'm not here I'm back home in Ireland, my father and stepmother live there and they like to look after Liam for me so those weeks you would be free to do what you want. It usually is 2 months late spring/early summer and the middle of November through the end of December. Of course you're always welcome to time off throughout the year if you need it, I can try and work around it. And your wage would be $30,000." Killian's eyes darted around her face trying to pick up any hint of a reaction.  
Emma thought it over, "what about Henry and Liam's school? Where would they go and would it be affected by your traveling?"  
"Liam is registered to start in August at a local school here, they've agreed to send schoolwork with Liam anytime travel conflicts with the school term but for the most part it shouldn't, it's your choice where you send Henry and how you handle that but I'm sure they have space if you wanted him to go to the same place"

Emma looked out the window, she could see the harbour, the moonlight danced on the water, it was a clear night and the sky was inundated with stars. It really was breathtakingly beautiful here, it seemed like a good place to raise your children, this could be the fresh start she was looking for.  
"Ok" she said, Killian's eyebrows shot up and a huge smile formed on his face.  
"But..." She added, "I use the expenditure account for groceries for your house, outings for all of us when I'm looking after Liam and any money I need for Liam and his activities, but anything separate for Henry, Kathryn, and myself I pay for."  
Killian scratched behind his ear then laid his hands on the table, "I'm sorry if I offended you with my offer..."

Emma laid her hand on his causing him to stop mid-sentence, his chest tightened at her touch, "you didn't offend me, I appreciate your offer but I need to financially look after my own children...I just...I need that."

She took her hand back, Killian felt the loss straight away, he exhaled, "of course, I understand." He asked hesitantly, "Does this mean you'll take the job?"  
"Yes Mr. Jones, I accept your offer" she flashed a smile. Her eyes were beautiful when she smiled, like the stars reflecting on the water outside. Killian blushed, "please, it's just Killian" he bit his bottom lip then continued, "I know you'll be working for me but I'd like to think we could be friends...You're the first person I've met who understands what Liam and I have been through...maybe our families could...help each other?"  
Emma was touched, Killian Jones really wasn't what she expected, he was kind, gentle, even shy, and above all, hurting, just like her.  
She smiled, "I'd like that"  
Emma gathered up her papers and put them back in her bag. "I fly back home tomorrow, I'll need about 2 weeks to get organised, I'll need to pack and sort stuff out with our house. I could be back to start work by the end of the month?"  
"Aye, that'd be great" he stood up, "can I walk you to your car?"  
Emma nodded her head and they headed outside together, Emma unlocked her car and opened the door, she turned to him, "I'll see you soon Killian"  
"Look forward to it! Text me your email and address, I'll send you details for when you come back. Have a safe flight home tomorrow!" He closed her car door behind her once she sat down and waved as she drove off.

* * *

2 weeks later Emma was looking out the plane window at beautiful Vancouver again, but this time she was coming to stay. The plane landed and she made her way through customs, pushing the luggage while Henry pushed his little sister in her stroller. When they reached the arrivals gate standing in front of them in a navy blue t-shirt, jeans, cap, and sunglasses was Killian smiling warmly.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a few weeks since Emma moved her family to Vancouver, she was starting to get her bearings, Henry had joined Liam's nursery and was registered to start school with him in August. She had come to enjoy her afternoons with Kathryn while the boys were away, spending time exploring her surroundings visiting parks, walking along the harbour watching the boats, and checking out the library and local bookstore. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, and then there was Killian, she didn't see him too often, he worked long hours and in his free time liked to take Liam out during the day and meet his friends in the evening. He had taken Henry along with Liam occasionally, much to Emma's surprise, and as a result Henry was besotted with him! The few times Emma and Killian were alone were nice, usually involving a glass of wine and sitting out by the fire pit at night, Emma would ask him about his day, insisting on no spoilers, and he would tell her about the pranks he and other cast members would do or funny requests he got from fans, or wardrobe malfunctions, and she would tell him what adventures, or misadventures as the case was sometimes, Liam and Henry got up to. They laughed a lot and were fast becoming good friends, neither had said much about their late spouses yet, they were enjoying the distraction each other provided and besides, there was plenty of time for that!

One afternoon in mid-April, after a week of heavy rainstorms the sun had finally returned and shone gloriously. The scent of fresh, dew kissed flowers wafted through the air, the birds started singing again, and Vancouver was coming back to life, vibrant as ever. Emma had just dropped the boys off at nursery and decided to enjoy the change in weather and take a stroll through town while Kathryn slept peacefully in her stroller; she walked past a convenience store and idly scanned the magazine stand by the door, a picture caught her attention, "Is that...?" She said out loud to herself, "Oh my God!" On the front was a not so flattering picture of Killian leaving a pub with the heading "Late night antics of Storybrook's resident alcoholic", Emma grabbed the magazine and started reading, it spun a sordid tale of Killian shouting abuse to fans, harassing women, and getting into brawls. A few unflattering pictures accompanied the article but no pictures or witness quotes to back the allegations. Emma studied the picture, she remembered that night, he went out with Robin and Regina to celebrate Regina's promotion to police detective. He was home by 11pm, they stayed up for about an hour talking, she had no doubt he'd been drinking but he was definitely not drunk! She checked the journalist's name, Richard Gold, Emma felt the anger building inside of her, how could they get away with printing blatant lies? Her eyes narrowed with determination and she did the only thing she could think of to try and fix it.

That night Killian was shooting until 1am, it wasn't usual for him to work late into the night, having a love interest who was a werewolf meant shooting a lot of night scenes! Emma waited up for him, she heard the front door open and the sound of him shuffling round the kitchen raiding the cupboards, she took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen.

Killian opened the door as quietly as he could, wincing as it squeaked slightly, he was conscious that it wasn't just him and Liam living here now, he always tried to be quiet as not to wake Emma on these late nights, he made his way to the kitchen, stomach growling, he would kill for a warm meal, he opened the fridge and found some left over dinner, he smiled and whispered "good lass" to himself; Emma always made enough for him to heat up when he got home, she was thoughtful like that...and it was far better than the ramen or left over pizza he'd grown accustomed to while it was just he and Liam…he thought about Emma as the microwave hummed, she had fitted into their life so seamlessly, she'd only been working for them for 3 weeks and already he didn't know what he'd do without her. The microwave beeped and suddenly he was aware of someone in the room with him, he spun around, "Emma...?! What's wrong? Are you ok? The kids...?!" He wasn't used to seeing her up this late, and was already juggling different worse cases scenarios in his head.  
"The kids are fine, we're all fine" she assured him, she picked up a tote bag and pulled a magazine out and set in on the table, "who the hell is Richard Gold and how does he get away with writing this shit about you?" Killian rolled his eyes and exhaled loudly, "what has he written now?" His eyes darkened and his jaw clenched as he skimmed the article, "Gold has had it in for me for years, Emma, this isn't true..."  
"Killian, you don't have to explain, I know it's not, it just makes me angry that he can get away with writing complete lies! I feel like going to his office tomorrow and telling him exactly what I think of his...are you laughing at me?!"

It was all Killian could do to keep it in, "no, I'm not laughing at you, it's just, you sound like an angry mother who's just heard her child was called a name by the school bully."  
"THIS IS YOUR REPUTATION KILLIAN!" Emma was losing it, why was he being so calm? Killian stopped laughing and walked up to Emma smiling affectionately, he placed a hand on each of her shoulders so he could look right at her, she could feel the warmth of his hands spreading from her shoulders down her arms which made her shiver, he was looking at her with such compassion, "I'm touched you care, I'll get my lawyer on it first thing tomorrow. It's the dark side of being well known and I don't like it but sadly I'm used to it, on a positive note the article is just targeted at me not any of my friends or family this time." He put his thumb on her chin and lifted her face up until she was looking at him, "Emma is this why you stayed up? To show me this?"

She was instantly aware of his touch, he reached out to her so causally, like it was instinct and she immediately asked herself if it was crossing a line, if she should step back from his touch…probably, but she couldn't bring herself to do it, instead she just continued, trying to ignore the butterflies taking flight in her stomach and the colour rising to her cheeks.  
"I was angry...and worried, I didn't know what to do when I saw it so..." She looked over at her tote bag which was bulging; Killian followed her line of sight, he dropped his hand from her face and asked, "Emma what's in the bag?"

Emma sighed, walked across the room, picked the bag up and turned it upside down and out fell about 20 magazines, she blushed, looking at the floor feeling slightly embarrassed and said, "I didn't want anyone reading those lies about you so I bought all the magazines"

Killian bit his lip to stop himself from laughing again, "oh Emma" he walked over and threw his arms around her, Emma's eyes shot open, not expecting that kind of affection from him. He squeezed her tightly, "Thank you for having my back, you're a true friend" he pulled back and looked at her, "though I'm not sure making his magazines sell out is the best line of attack" he smiled.  
Emma blushed, "I suppose you're right, next time I'll hide them! I'm sorry...I just reacted...I didn't really think about what I was doing" she admitted.  
Now it was Emma's turn to laugh, "You must think I'm an idiot!"  
"Not at all, love!" The way the last word rolled off his tongue was intoxicating! "I'm lucky to have you in my corner!"  
He picked up the magazines and threw them in the pile of old newspapers for the fire. "But for now I think we could both use some sleep!"

Emma nodded in response and they headed upstairs, they came to Emma's room first, she opened the door then paused and turned around, "goodnight Killian" she whispered, as she entered her room when Killian whispered "Emma?"  
She turned back around, "yeah?"  
"Do you want to go out for dinner tomorrow? I finish work at 6; I can be home for 7, ready to leave for 7:30? I could get a babysitter?"  
Emma stood there for a second rerunning the question through her mind to make sure she didn't imagine it; no Killian Jones definitely just asked her out! He looked uncertain and the longer she stood there the more insecure his expression became. Finally she put him out of his misery, "I'd like that" she bit her bottom lip, God she was adorable when she did that.

He let out a small sigh of relief then smiled, "great! Goodnight!"

Emma shut her bedroom door then leaned her back against it panting, she only realised now she's been holding her breath. She wasn't expecting her body's reaction to his touch. As a fan she always thought Killian was attractive, let's be honest, smoking hot! But once she got to know him she pushed all that aside, after all she is working for him, their friendship, though strong, was still relatively new and she liked it, she liked being his friend, she had no interest in jeopardising it...but the way he looked at her, and when they touched did he feel it too? Did he really just ask her out?! That completely floored her; surely it was just as friends...I mean friends eat together all the time...right? Emma slipped out of her clothes and into her pyjama pants and vest, she needed to try and sleep, she rolled her eyes at herself, good luck with that!

Killian walked into his en suite and switched his shower on, turning the dial back to make it cold. He had a shower at work but he needed to cool down. He wasn't expecting to see Emma tonight, he wasn't expecting her to be so upset about the article and he certainly wasn't expecting to feel that energy pulse through him when he hugged her. This whole night had taken him by surprise. The dinner invitation just slipped out, he'd been thinking about it for a few days, wanting to spend some more time with Emma getting to know her. However tonight he felt something, he wondered if she felt it too? Dinner between friends is a normal thing, right? He'd gone out for drinks with Regina before, and he used to grab a burger with Ruby before they realised it just fuelled all those romance rumours. Dinner with Emma was a completely normal thing for friends to do (he tried to justify himself)...although it seemed like she hesitated...he would need to play this right, the last thing he wanted to do was scare Emma away. He winced as the cold water hit his body.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Thank you for all the positive feedback you've given me! I'm so glad You're enjoying my story._**

 ** _I'll try and update daily!_**

* * *

The doorbell rang causing Emma to run downstairs, makeup only half applied and her hair still damp from the shower; she pulled opened the large mahogany front door, standing in front of her was a girl in her late teens wearing heavy makeup, fake tan, tight ripped jeans, and a crop top.  
"Um...can I help you?" Emma asked  
"I'm Ashley, the babysitter" the girl looked over Emma's shoulder, "is Killian here?"  
She walked past Emma into the house, "oh, please, come in" Emma muttered sarcastically to herself.  
She followed Ashely into the living room, "He'll be home soon...have you looked after a baby before?" Emma was feeling nervous about leaving Kathryn.  
"Yeah, sure, I've babysat Liam since he was a baby!"  
"I see…" Emma wasn't completely convinced but Killian obviously trusted her.  
"Ok, well Killian is going to be here soon and I need to finish getting ready, the boys are upstairs already, reading in bed and Kathryn just needs her bottle and then she'll not be long going to sleep..."  
"Are you like his girlfriend?" Ashley interrupted.  
Emma blinked twice, surprised by her bluntness. "No, I'm 'like' his nanny" she replied with probably more sass than necessary.  
Ashley's questioning continued, "great! Wait...does he have a girlfriend? Is he still dating Ruby?"  
Emma shrugged her shoulders. "I've no idea, it's none of my business!" she smiled sweetly then made her way upstairs rolling her eyes once her back was turned. Was this girl for real?

Emma finished curling her hair then threw a brown leather jacket over her navy wrap dress, she didn't know where they were going but it was the kind of dress that could pass as casual or dressy so she wasn't worried. She picked out some knee high brown leather boots and went into Henry's room to give him a kiss, he was already asleep, book in hand lying open; she smiled, picked it up and stuck his bookmark in before closing it and setting it on his bedside table. As she walked downstairs she heard voices, upon entering the living room she saw Killian holding Kathryn who was squeezing his nose, he and Ashley were laughing then looked up to see Emma, "your daughter has some grip!"  
Emma laughed, "She sure does! Here let me help you" she peeled the baby's fingers off his nose one by one until he was free and then kissed her daughter on the forehead and hesitantly handed her to Ashley.  
"You sure you can manage her?" She asked, feeling sceptical.  
"Yeah, for sure! Bottle then bed, easy!" Ashely replied, still greedily eyeing Killian.  
Emma sighed, "ok, well I've left my number on the fridge if you need anything please call"  
Killian smiled sympathetically at Emma sensing her uneasiness, "I'm sure she will, right Ashley?!"  
"Of course!" The teen assured her.  
Emma looked at Killian, he was wearing black jeans, a thin charcoal sweater and black leather jacket, and god he looked good! She snapped out of her daydream and elbowed him in the arm, "right Rudolph, let's get going then, I'm starving!"  
Killian rubbed his nose where Kathryn had been pulling it, a smile lit up his face, he liked it when Emma felt comfortable enough to tease him, and he walked out behind her calling over his shoulder "thanks Ashley!"  
He jogged down the steps to his house rushing ahead of her, unlocked his jeep and opened Emma's door for her, she turned to him still feeling in a teasing mood, and said "so now you're a gentleman?"

He smiled as she climbed in and once she was seated and looking at him he did his best offended look and leaned in to say, "I'm always a gentleman" there was a dark mischievous look in his eyes that sent a delicious shiver right down Emma's spine. He closed her door and walked round to the driver's side.

As they left the driveway he turned to look at her and said "so I was thinking of going to this place I know called 'The Rabbit Hole' they do the best burgers and beers"  
"Sounds perfect" Emma said, then also feeling mischievous added, "so your babysitter seems like a sweet girl..."  
Amused, Killian played along,  
"Oh Ashely? Yeah she's great!"  
Emma raised her eyebrow, "she seems to have quite the crush on you!"  
He laughed, "She's harmless. Her Dad is one of our crew members, I've known her for years; as for the crush, that's new but it'll pass"  
"Mmm hmm? That's what you think" Emma teased.

He chuckled, then looked over at her while she took in the view of the mountains from her window; he couldn't help but wonder if that was the voice of experience speaking…was it possible she was jealous? Was he a horrible person for hoping she was?

The waiter led them to a booth in the back of the restaurant, they slipped into their seats and Killian ordered two locally brewed beers for them, "trust me, you'll love this stuff! I'm somewhat of a connoisseur." he gave her a wink and sly smile.

She giggled then raised an eyebrow, copying his signature look, "Is that so?"  
After a look over the menu They each ordered a colossal burger, Emma opted for onion rings instead of fries and while they waited for their food Killian started to tell Emma about his day. He'd been shooting scenes with Ruby all day, and by the sound of it they spent less time filming and more time goofing off!  
His stories had Emma in stitches; she wiped a tear of laughter away as the burgers arrived. She took her first bite and it was heaven! She closed her eyes and let out a satisfied moan. Killian raised his eyebrow, "would you like me to leave you and your burger alone for a moment?" He asked suppressing a smile.  
"Hey!" She kicked him under the table, "a girl should be allowed to enjoy herself every once in a while without being judged for it!"  
Killian raised his hands in defence,  
"No judgement here!" That cheeky twinkle returned to his eyes and he added, "if you want to make out with a burger that's fine, it's a free country"  
She picked up one of his fries and threw it at him, they both laughed.

He could watch her smile for hours, not just because of how delicious her lips looked but her eyes sparkled brilliantly when she did, she was breathtaking and his chest ached at the sight of her. Her joy was contagious, he was sure he must look like a fool grinning back at her. The evening was going better than he could have imagined and he cursed himself for not doing this sooner.  
His voice eventually grew serious, "I'm glad you're having a good time, genuinely!"  
Emma smiled at him, "this is the first time I've been out without the kids since I moved here!"  
Killian felt a pang of guilt; he really should be making more of an effort.  
"We should do this more often", he suggested.  
"You're a very busy man." She reminded him.  
His face turned thoughtful, "not too busy to make time for my friends" he studied her face nervously.

Emma blushed, she knew they got along well but she worked for him, she never dreamed he'd hold her in such high regard. She realised in that moment that she had begun to truly care for him and that scared her. She made the decision when Neal died to lock up her heart, to save all her love for her children and no one else; that way she couldn't get hurt. She didn't like where her feelings were taking her with Killian, she would need to be careful, there was no way a future was on the cards for them; after all she was his employee and he was...well...Killian Jones! Her walls started to rise up she sat up straight, it was time to take control of the conversation and keep it work appropriate. Her body stiffened and she cleared her throat, "this place is great, do you bring all your nanny's here?" The tone of her voice was blunter than she intended.

Killian scratched his ear, "well you're the only nanny I've hired so technically yes" he raised both eyebrows and smiled hoping to bring back the light-heartedness they shared just moments ago.  
Emma was racking her brain for conversation starters, this was so much harder when she wasn't allowed to relax and be herself. She took another bite of her burger to buy time. _'What were they talking about before?'_ She was backtracking in her mind, _'oh right, Killian's day with Ruby'._ "Is it hard to pretend to love someone?"  
Killian almost spat out his drink  
"What?!"  
 _'Oh shit, that came out wrong'_ Emma thought to herself.  
"I mean..." Emma tried to explain herself, "...when you act. Is it hard to convincingly pretend to love someone, the way your character loves Ruby's"  
Killian was unsure how to answer, the question had taken him by surprise, as had Emma's sudden change in demeanour. Did he say or do something wrong? He opened and shut his mouth a few times as he tried to decide the best way to answer.  
"It's no different from any other emotions I'd act, be it anger, betrayal, hurt, sadness, surprise etc." He started explaining, "Acting is just playing pretend, I may use my own experiences to draw from but I'm essentially a different person in that moment so the emotions belong to that person, not me." He gathered his thoughts and then continued, "It helps when you work with people you trust, people who are good at their job, it gives you the freedom to really explore your character without worrying about their actions reflecting on people's opinions of you as a person. Does that make sense?"  
Emma nodded; she thought for a moment, opened her mouth to ask a question then thought better of it and closed it again.  
Killian sighed,  
"No, I've never had feelings beyond friendship for Ruby, we've never dated or slept together, or even kissed other than when we were at work on set rehearsing or shooting."  
"H...how did you know...?"  
"...you were thinking that? Because most people think we have, we know there are rumours of an affair when Milah was alive" his eyes grew dark and his expression grim, "I've never seen Ruby that way, I loved Milah, she was everything..." There was so much pain in his expression, Emma felt awful, "Killian I'm so sorry, I didn't mean while you were married" she reached her hand out and put it on his, he looked up at her, "There is no doubt in my mind you loved Milah, I never believed those rumours, even before I knew you".  
She sighed, "I should never have said anything".  
He put his free hand on top of hers, holding it between both of his sending her body into high alert, "you didn't, I did. Sorry Emma, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, it's just a sore subject, I appreciate your faith in me though! Why don't we get out of here, it's a nice night we could walk to the harbour?"  
Emma nodded, she could use the fresh air, he released her hand and they made their way outside.

The night had grown cold and Emma pulled her jacket in around her, they walked towards the harbour, the reflection of the moon lay perfect on the still water.  
"It's beautiful" Emma sighed.  
"That it is" Killian agreed. He wanted to tell her it paled in significance to what she looked like in the moonlight, but that would be a step too far, all night he had been itching to tell her she looked beautiful but it didn't feel appropriate. Then there was whatever just happened in there, something had put her on edge and he wish he knew what. He looked at her standing by the water, taking in the way her hair cascaded down her shoulders, her eyes staring into the distance, her lips relaxed in a small content smile. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip then bit down to try and wake himself out of his daydream.  
"Did you speak to your lawyers about the article?" She asked.  
"They're looking into it, they feel pretty confident we have a case for slander"  
"That's good" she mused then changing the subject,  
"Where do you film your scenes on the Jolly?" Emma asked as she looked out at the water.  
Killian stood beside her and reached out his arm to show her.  
"Way over there, see that pier."  
"Is that it? That tiny ship?" She squinted her eyes to try and focus.  
Killian cleared his throat, "you know its bad form to insult the size of a man's ship..."  
Emma giggled, "sorry, I was just expecting it to be bigger"  
He raised one eyebrow.  
Emma blushed, "that came out wrong!" She insisted.  
"its part of a ships deck built on a barge we use for filming." He shrugged, "as I said, acting is just playing pretend! Besides..." He leaned in and gave her a wink, "it's not the size that counts, it's what you do with it"  
Emma rolled her eyes and they both laughed.  
"Why don't you come to set tomorrow?" He suggested.  
"It's a shorter filming day and a few cast members are bringing their kids along, Henry might like to see the set, I'll be doing a fight scene with Robin, I could show you guys around after?"  
"Really? That would be awesome!" Emma said excitedly.  
Killian smiled, "great! You guys can all come along with me in the morning. There will be plenty of people there to watch Liam so treat it as a day off; it'd be good for you to make friends here"  
They continued walking until they came to a bench looking out on the water and Killian signalled for her to sit. He sat down next to her, the water always calmed him, he looked out on the horizon and asked, "What do you miss most living out here?"  
Emma thought for a moment, "I miss my friends and my piano"  
That got Killian's attention, "you play piano?"  
"Yep, and sing, not so much since the kids came along but I did some touring between nanny jobs that was back when I was Emma Swan"  
She shrugged her shoulders, "it seems like a lifetime ago."  
"Swan was your maiden name?" He asked.  
"Yeah, my close friends just called me 'Swan'"  
"Hmmm, 'Swan'...I like it! I didn't know you were musical, we should jam sometime"  
"I'd love that!" Emma's eyes lit up again. He stood smiling at her for a moment; he wanted so badly to lean in and kiss her, feel how soft her lips felt. This was torture, he'd be needing another cold shower if he kept this up.  
"Well Swan what do you say we head home?"  
"Probably a good idea" Emma said, "I'm sure Ashley is anxious to see you", she winked at him.  
"Just do me a favour and please don't leave me alone with her!" He groaned and rolled his eyes.  
Emma laughed, and then linking her arm in his she pulled him along, "come on Jones! Your adoring public awaits".


	7. Chapter 7

**_Sorry guys, I was having a few technical difficulties with the site trying to post this chapter but I've solved it now so here you go!_**

 ** _Thanks again for all your comments and reviews, I love hearing your feedback!_**

* * *

A faint knocking at his bedroom door awoke Killian from his slumber, it was still dark outside and a quick glance at the clock on his bedside table told him it was 1am! He slowly sat up, rubbing his hand over his face to try and wake himself up. Another quiet knock came from his door. _"Bloody Hell! What's this all about?'_ he thought to himself. With a sleepy groan he got out of bed, pulled on some sweatpants (he preferred to sleep nude) and walked over to his bedroom door. He wasn't prepared for what, or rather who, stood on the other side.

"Swan?" Her name escaped his lips as a reverent whisper, his eyes slowly moved from her hair, piled high in an up-do, to her eyes, deep, dark, and looking up at him through her long thick eyelashes. His gaze continued down, lingering for a moment on her plump red lips, opened ever so slightly, his tongue brushed his bottom lip as he continued on his path taking in the smooth flawless skin of her neck, that one vein pulsing under the intensity of his stare, down past her collarbone to her cleavage, proudly on show thanks to her tightly fitted dress that clung to her slim figure in all the right places, as his eyes carrying on their downward perusal of her revealed to him. He swallowed hard as he gradually lifted his eyes back to hers, then raised his eyebrow, flashing her a flirtatious smile.  
"Hey" she smiled shyly, "sorry to bother you, I was wondering if you could help me, I can't get the zipper on this dress" she blushed slightly and chewed her bottom lip nervously.  
His tongue ran along his again, God he wanted to be the one biting her lip!  
"Sure, come in" was about all he could manage.  
She entered, closing the door behind her, and then slowly turning to face it. She gathered her hair to one side getting it out of the way, showing her bare neck. Killian stared at it, fighting the urge to lick, bite, and kiss his way down it, her breathing was shallow, and he could sense her pulse racing. He took his time unzipping her dress revealing her porcelain skin; counting each freckle until he reached the small of her back and kept his hand hovering there. The tension building up between them was intense, it was the sweetest torture as he stood there unsure if he should step back or give into what his body was telling him, no, screaming at him to do.  
"Killian" she whispered pleadingly.  
That was all the encouragement he needed! He placed his hand on her smooth skin and she inhaled sharply, he slid his hand round to her hip and stepped closer so he was right up against her, fingers biting into her skin as he tightened his grip, he leaned down to kiss her neck breathing her in, the smell of bacon filling his nostrils...wait, bacon?

Killian's eyes flew open and he sat up in bed. _"Bloody hell!"_ He looked down; he wasn't the only one awake! _'Shit!'_ He rubbed his eyes, and then fell back with a thud onto his mattress! He couldn't remember the last time he woke up aroused but this definitely was not an ideal way to start the day and it was _definitely_ not ideal to be having sex dreams involving his son's nanny! He covered his face with his hands and groaned, _"Get your shit together Jones!"_

Trying to push the images of Emma out of his mind he jumped out of bed, walked into his en suite and ran the shower, turning the dial to cold! Once he finally calmed down and made it downstairs he stopped in the kitchen doorway watching the scene before him, Kathryn was giggling in her high chair while Liam played peek-a-boo with her, Henry was already sitting at the table working his way through his latest book, and Emma was humming while she cooked bacon and eggs. She was wearing thin pyjama pants and a vest with her hair piled up on her head in a messy bun, his lips raised in a one sided smile as he watched her slowly move her hips side to side dancing, it was almost enough to send him racing back to bed so he could fall asleep and finish his dream. _"Great"_ he thought to himself _"I'm an actor with a crush on my nanny, my life has been reduced to a fucking cliché"._

He took a deep breath and walked in,  
"Something smells good!"

"Dad!" Liam ran up and gave his father a hug.

"Hey son, you on babysitting duty this morning?"

"Dad I can make her laugh, watch!"

Killian watched as Liam started making funny faces while Kathryn burst into a huge belly laugh.  
He laughed too then walked over to where Emma was cooking, affectionately scruffing up Henry's hair as he passed him.

"Well this all looks good" he said, meaning more than the food! He grabbed a piece of bacon and shoved it in his mouth.

"Hey! You can wait like everyone else!" She scolded.

Killian flashed a mischievous smile, then shrugged and said "pirate" as means of explanation.

Emma's eyes narrowed, "I'm not taking my eyes off you captain"

He leaned in; just centimetres from her face, "I'd despair if you did"

He chuckled as Emma rolled her eyes. But the heat rising to her cheeks didn't go unnoticed by him. He smiled, feeling a little smug that he could cause her to react that way. Emma went on plating up breakfast seemingly unaffected by the flirting and when Killian returned to Liam and Kathryn, joining in with trying to make the baby laugh, he found himself continually looking back and stealing glances at Emma, who appeared to be unaware of the attention she was attracting.

"Right boys! Breakfast is ready! Come to the table". Emma called out then added "Before Killian eats it all!"

After breakfast he entertained the kids while Emma got ready. It was going to be a warm day so she opted for lace shorts, a thin cotton vest, and a denim shirt, she pulled her hair to the side and braided it, she threw on her converse and grabbed Kathryn's changing bag.  
When she appeared downstairs Killian was holding Kathryn who was nestled in cooing while he whispered

"it's ok princess, mama will be back soon" he kissed her on the head and Emma's heart melted. "

It doesn't look like she wants mama so much now" she said

Killian looked up, "she was fussing a little so I picked her up, I think she just wanted a cuddle"

"I think she has you wrapped around her little finger!" Emma teased.

"Aye, maybe" he agreed "shall we go?"

"I'll round the boys up!" Emma agreed.

The ride to set was beautiful, Emma spent most of it leaning out the window taking pictures of the scenery. Killian spent most of it trying to focus on the road and not Emma's perfectly toned legs, just mere inches from his hand resting on the gear stick. That stupid dream had a lot to answer for! The car turned off into the forest and drove a mile or so down a dirt road, as they pulled up Emma was suddenly aware of the ball of nerves forming in her stomach, she was used to Killian but she was going to be spending time with the actors from her favourite show and she didn't want to embarrass herself or him! _"Just be cool, Swan!"_ she mentally warned herself.

They unloaded the kids and made their way to the trailers, a group of the cast and crew were sitting around a table drinking coffee and chatting, they looked up when they heard footsteps coming their way.

"Killian!" Ruby called out everyone looked up, there was a chorus of "hey man" and "hi", and a few high fives.

Killian cleared his throat, "guys, this is my friend Emma" he patted her on the back and she waved shyly to the group.

"She's gonna spend the day here with Liam and her kids", he picked up Emma's son, "this is Henry and Kathryn is sleeping in the pram." Everyone was warm and welcoming to Emma, she had brought a soccer ball for the boys who went straight into kicking it about on the grass nearby.

Ruby signalled for Emma to sit by her, which both delighted and terrified Emma, she walked over and joined the actress and as they started talking

Robin patted his friend on the back, "so this is the girl?" He grinned at his friend raising his eyebrows up and down, "and you 'haven't noticed' if she's hot or not?" He added skeptically.

Killian groaned, "we'll talk about it after filming, I promise, right now I have to go to makeup!"

"You can't get rid of me that easily! We have a scene together don't forget! I'll hold you to that promise!" Robin shouted after his friend who was jogging away.

"So you live in Belfast?" Ruby asked

"Yeah, I'm American but I've been in Belfast for 10 years" Emma answered

"I've always wanted to go to Ireland" Ruby confessed. "What made you move there?"

Emma decided honestly was the best policy so sighed and replied, "Love...I met my husband at college in NY, he was from there, we fell in love and I went back with him" Emma smiled remembering those days.

"So you both live in Vancouver now?" Ruby asked

Emma looked down at her hands in her lap, her wedding and engagement ring sparkling in the sunlight, it was an honest question; she twirled her rings round her finger.  
"My husband died almost a year ago." She confessed, wincing slightly, it was always awkward to bring up in conversation, it often made whoever she was talking to feel uncomfortable which in turn would make her feel awkward.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know..." Ruby said apologetically

"It's ok" Emma reassured her.

They chatted for a few more minutes before Ruby excused herself to go get ready for her upcoming scene. Emma turned and saw a bunch of the other children had joined Henry and Liam on their makeshift soccer field. Kathryn started shifting around in her pram so Emma lifted her out and carried her over to the game.

She divided the kids up into two equal teams and put her thumb and forefinger in her mouth to whistle, signalling the start of the match. She coached both teams from the side-lines, shouting out encouragements and cheering enthusiastically every time someone scored.  
After about 30 minutes Emma shouted "Time out guys, let's all get some lunch and then we can do some games!"  
The kids all ran towards the catering truck.

* * *

Killian and Robin walked side by side back to their trailers, after 3 hours of shooting they were done for the day. It'd been a physically taxing day despite how short it was, they had been working on a fight scene and both actors had been allowed to do their own stunts. Killian was exhausted and all he wanted to do was have a cold beer and spend some quality time with Emma and the kids. His mind wandered to their domestic set up, it felt so natural having them join his little family filling his house with laughter and life. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Liam so happy and honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy and at peace. Just then his thoughts were interrupted by Robin not so subtly clearing his throat, a tell-tale sign the interrogation was about to begin!

"So...Emma?" Robin began

Killian let out a sigh. "She is officially my nanny"

"She lives in your house?"

"Yep" Killian replied, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"And...How's that working out for ya?" Robin asked.

Killian ran his fingers through his hair then dropped his arms in exasperation.  
"It was fine...great actually, it was just nice to come home to an adult, a friend that I could hang out with, laugh with, and talk to about Milah. But then last night I had a dream about her and I can't stop thinking..."

Robins eyebrows shot up "You have feelings for her?!"

Killian shrugged, "I don't know...I mean I care about her, I think of her as my friend and...You said it yourself; she's easy on the eyes..."

"Mate, she's a stone cold fox!"

Killian laughed, "Don't let Regina hear you say that!" He grew serious again, "She's the last person I see at night and often the first person I see in the morning...I try to make a point of not thinking about it, about how comforting it is to have her there, or about how I look forward to coming home and seeing her there, but now she's appearing in my dreams, I've no control over that!"

"And does she feel the same way? Is she flirting with you?" His friend asked.

"No nothing like that, I mean we joke around and have a bit of banter but she's never crossed the line, she's a bloody good nanny, Liam loves her, you should have seen her résumé, I'm lucky to have her! Our home feels like a family home again, home cooked meals, kids laughing and playing, movie nights...you know..." Killian's face grew sad "Milah and I were trying to get pregnant...when..."

Robin stopped walking and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. Tears were threatening to leave Killian's eyes.  
"Mate, you never told me! I'm so sorry. Was she...?"

Killian cleared his throat, "no, I asked the coroner, she wasn't, thank God!"

Robin looked thoughtfully at his friend. "Killian...I'm going to try and put this delicately...it's been over a year since Milah was taken from us, I know you loved her...but she would want you to move on, to find happiness again! It's only natural that you would be attracted to a beautiful woman, you have...you know...needs, you're going to have urges and you'll drive yourself crazy if you keep trying to suppress them. Have you thought about dating?"

Killian rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to make Emma my rebound!"

"I'm not talking about Emma! If you want to keep her as a nanny she is completely off limits! I mean going out, letting your hair down, having some fun...nothing serious"

Killian shook his head, "that's not me, mate."

"Well you're going to have to do something other than playing happy families in your mind with Emma!"

As much as Killian didn't want to admit it he knew Robin was right.

They made it out the woods and saw all the kids running races, Emma had them all lined up, shouting instructions to them while Kathryn was snugly wrapped in a sling around her mother. There were a crowd of cast and crew members cheering at the sides.

"Wow, you weren't kidding, she is good!" Robin admitted.

Killian smiled, "aye, she is" he said proudly.

He made his way to his trailer, quickly getting washed and changed and headed back out to the others. The games had ended and everyone was in little groups chatting, Liam, Henry, and Roland were sword fighting with sticks, Ruby was playing with Kathryn. He scanned the place looking for Emma, when he saw her his eyes narrowed and jaw tightened, _"what the hell!"_ He said under his breath as he marched over to her with his fists clenched.

Emma had been riding a motorbike belonging to August Booth, one of the crew, she was driving and he was sitting behind her holding her close to him. Killian spotted them just as they were pulling up, when they stopped, while leaning in to talk to her August's hand had slid from her hip down to the top of her leg. Emma was laughing at whatever he was saying and Killian saw red.

"Killian!" Ruby shouted over to him, but he ignored her and kept walking, he could feel his blood slowly boiling.  
"Killian!" She called again, this time he heard Kathryn's cries which stopped him in his tracts, and he spun around and saw Ruby run up to him with Kathryn, "she won't settle, I think she wants her mom, are you going to Emma? Could you take her?" Kathryn held her little chubby arms out to Killian, his face grew soft as he reached out and held her against his chest, he kissed her head and she instantly stopped crying.

"Wow, you have the magic touch!" Ruby exclaimed.

"She seems to like me" he admitted

"Good judge of character" Ruby smiled, "so what's got you all worked up?" She asked.

Killian looked over to Emma who was now getting off the bike and reaching up to take her helmet off, August's hands still sitting comfortably on her legs.  
"Nothing! I've got to go" he replied then continued walking to Emma, as he approached he overheard August,

"…if you're free this weekend I'd love to take you out on some of the trails here, talk about views!" He flashed a charming smile.

Emma blushed, "that sounds nice but..." She turned when she heard footsteps "oh there you are!"

"This weekend's no good!" Killian said coldly staring at August.

Emma was surprised by his tone, she could feel the tension instantly but couldn't understand it, had they done something wrong?

"Well then just let me know when you're free" August ignored Killian and took Emma's hand, bringing it to his lips kissing it, his eyes never leaving hers, "but until then, it was a pleasure to meet you Emma"

"Lovely to meet you too" she smiled politely and he walked over to his bike hopped on and road away. 

Killian was about to explode. Emma turned to look at him, "Is everything ok?" She asked hesitantly, sensing his anger.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He hissed.

Emma was shocked and starting to feel her own anger rise, reached out and took Kathryn from him.  
"Making friends! Isn't that why you brought me here?"

"I brought you here to look after my son, not so you could go make out with some guy on his motorbike!"

"EXCUSE ME?!" Now he had gone too far! "I was NOT making out with anyone! Liam was with Robin, you're best friend! I didn't think you'd mind! We rode around the clearing; Liam was within my sight the whole time."

Killian was still angry, "That guy is with a different girl every weekend Emma, is that what you want, to be another notch on his bedpost?!"

Emma's eyes narrowed, "You are way out of line!" She spat out the words. "Are you angry because a guy flirted with me or because you think I'm not doing my job? Which is it Killian? Because I sure as hell don't remember it saying anywhere in my contract that you get to choose who I date! If you're unhappy with my work then I'll hand in my notice tomorrow."

They stood there, locked in eye contact, he knew he was being ridiculous but right now he didn't care, he couldn't answer her question because he refused to admit what was really going on, some other guy was making moves on Emma and he was seething with jealousy. He wanted to be the one holding her tight, the one making her laugh, or making her heart race on a motorbike ride. The fact August bloody Booth was doing it instead drove him near insane! "It's time to go home Emma, get the kids together." With that he walked away from her.

The car ride home was awkwardly silent. Emma stared out the window, not a word was said between them.

Killian put Liam to bed while Emma put her own children down, she went straight to her room after and fell back flat on her bed, still reeling from their fight, _"what the hell was that all about?"_ She thought to herself. She went through to her en suit and turned the water on, after a quick shower she changed into her pyjamas, she was towel drying her hair when she heard a knock at the door, and she rolled her eyes, what now? She opened the door revealing Killian standing there, eyes dark, hair dishevelled and altogether looking wrecked.

"Come have a drink with me Swan"

"No thanks, I'm going to bed"

He closed his eyes then opened them again, "don't let a man drink alone"

"I'm not in the mood for a drink...or a man" she started to close the door, he gently pushed against it opening it a crack, his voice was suddenly soft and vulnerable,

"Emma, please, let me explain, let me say sorry!"

She sighed, "ok" she grabbed a hoodie and carried it downstairs, Killian led her outside when he had made a fire, a bottle of wine and 2 glasses were sitting beside it, he opened the bottle and began to pour, handing her a glass he nervously began,

"I've been a complete ass" he admitted.

Emma looked at him, she remained silent.

He sighed, "I don't know what got into me, I was tired and hungry and honestly...I was looking forward to seeing you and the kids and hanging out with everyone, then I saw you with him...touching you..."

Emma looked at the ground, if she was honest she hadn't felt completely comfortable with the way August touched her but she just thought he was being friendly, Killian ran his fingers through his hair, "I just went into over protective mode I guess, I feel somewhat responsible for you and I know he's a player. But I should have trusted you to be able to look after yourself; I had an emotional day and I took it out on you...I'm so sorry Emma"

Emma sat there trying to process what Killian said. She was starting to understand but she was still angry, he questioned her ability to do her job and that hurt her.  
"You invited me to set as your friend, then you criticised my childcare..."

"I shouldn't have done that, it was never about your ability to look after Liam, you've been the best nanny I could hope for. You're right, I had meant for it to be a day off for you." He interrupted.

Emma was still confused; she furrowed her brow, "so this was about me and August?" She asked.

Killian sighed, he couldn't tell her how he felt about her, and he didn't want to make things more awkward between them or scare her away. He looked up at her looking back at him, the light from the fire danced on her face, illuminating it, she was radiant! His breath caught in his throat the urge to reach out and touch her was immense; it took every ounce of self-control not to pull her into his arms.

Emma didn't understand why the thought of her and August bothered him so much but she didn't want there to be tension between them, she put her stubbornness aside and put him out of his misery, breaking the silence. She cleared her throat,  
"Well if it makes you feel better, I was just trying to make some friends, dating August was never an option for me..."

Killian's eyes darted back to hers, relief flooded over him, she wasn't interested in August...could Killian dare to hope...  
His thoughts were interrupted as Emma continued,

"...I actually wanted to ask you if I could finish work and go home this weekend? I know its 2 weeks earlier than you leave for Ireland..." And as soon as Killian raised his hopes they collapsed around him, he felt like he had been punched in the gut.

"You...you want to leave? Emma I'm so sorry about tonight, I sometimes act rashly, I didn't mean to..."

Emma reached over and gently laid her hand on his arm, the contact of her soft warm skin against his sent shock wave through his body, she gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, her touch was intoxicating, he craved more.

"It's nothing to do with what happened tonight" her voice was soft and calm; she could tell he was emotional so tried to be as comforting as she could.  
"Next week..." She continued, "...is the anniversary of Neal's death, I wanted to take the kids to his grave, and be with his family..."

He understood, there was no way he was going to deprive her of this. He put his free hand over the one she had on his arm, "of course Emma"

She rested her head on his shoulder, an action she'd never done before but it seemed like the natural thing to do, she needed to reassure him that she wasn't angry or punishing him for his outburst today. The small physical connection was the only way she could think to do that, at least that's what she told herself, "thank you" she whispered. It'd been a long day and they were both physically and emotionally exhausted, they stayed in that position watching the fire for a few more minutes before Emma lifted her head, Killian released her hand and she stood up.

"I'm going to head up to bed, are you gonna be ok?"

Killian smiled, she was so nurturing always concerned for those around her. "I'll be fine, I'm going to go to bed soon too" he replied.

Emma started walking towards the house then stopped and turned, "Killian..."

He looked up at her "yeah swan?"

"You have no reason to be jealous of people I make friends with here, you're my friend, I care about you..." She hesitated then added, "...deeply, you can't get rid of me that easily!"

He smiled "I'll hold you to that! And Emma...I care about you...deeply...too, I hope you know that".

"I do. Goodnight Killian"

"Goodnight love"


	8. Chapter 8

**_I'm going to just apologise now..._**

* * *

"Come on! The movie's about to start!" Emma called to the boys.  
"I've got the popcorn!" Killian announced as he collapsed onto the sofa next to her, offering the bowl to her, she reached in and took a handful. They nestled into the sofa together, Liam and Henry came bounding downstairs excitedly and sat on either side of them, squeezing Emma and Killian closer together, which secretly neither of them minded! Killian threw a big blanket over them all and Emma pushed play, the opening credits for "Wreck-it-Ralph" filled the screen. It was Emma and her kid's last night with Killian and Liam before they went home for 2 months; knowing it would be hard on Liam and Henry, who had become the best of friends, they asked the boys how they wanted to spend it and this was it!

Killian had been sulking around the house all day while Emma packed; she knew he wasn't happy she was leaving so soon, if she was honest she wasn't looking forward to being without him either. After their fight and subsequent reconciliation two weeks ago there had been a shift in their relationship dynamic. It was unspoken but they both felt it; Killian knew without a doubt that what he felt for her was more than just a crush, real feelings had developed, he was hesitant to label those feelings, especially with that four letter word but there was undoubtedly a genuine connection. Emma was aware of a change in their relationship too; however she was hesitant to think of it as any more than just the bond of a close friendship. She knew she cared for him and Liam deeply; she looked forward to Killian coming home from work, to spending evenings chatting late into the night. It was happening a lot more frequently since their fight, Killian wasn't going out with his friends as much opting to spend his spare time with her, and it hadn't gone unnoticed. Emma assumed he was trying to compensate for his behaviour on set the other week, that guilt was causing him to make more of an effort, not that she had any complaints! She loved spending time with him, conversation was effortless, he made her feel comfortable, and for the first time in a long time she was beginning to feel settled; that is until he'd look at her that certain way, usually after a few glasses of wine and when the hour was late, there would be that look, so subtly yet so intense at the same time, she tried to ignore it, to ignore the way it made her heart quicken and her stomach flutter. It would always be fleeting, just a split second and then he'd blink it away or shake his head and smile, a few times he even opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but then shut it and took a drink before changing the subject to something light-hearted. And then there were the times he touched her, each time was innocent, his hand lightly touching her back if he had to squeeze past her, their fingers brushing against each other when she passed a mug of coffee to him, even now as they sat next to each other, their legs and arms touching, she could feel the heat radiating from his body and each time there was contact shock waves shot through her; she tried to push it far from her mind, not allowing herself to even entertain the thought of them being more than friends, she convinced herself the feeling of loss every time he moved away from her was just her body playing tricks. Perhaps it was the knowledge that this was her last night, that she wouldn't feel his touch, even if it was just accidental, or see that look in his eyes for months; whatever the reason she tilted her head until it rested on his shoulder, just like she did that night he apologised two weeks ago. He didn't seem to object, in fact he ever so slightly moved his head to lean against hers; realising he was ok with the contact she relaxed her body and tried to concentrate on the film and not on how easy it would be to just move her hand over a little and hold his.

Killian's heart skipped a beat when he felt the weight of her head on his shoulder, it took him a few seconds to realise he was holding his breath! Was it too much to hope that she has feelings for him too? He had thought about telling her how he felt, in fact the subject had consumed his mind the past few days, he'd been distracted on set, and then spending his car ride home each day playing possible scenarios in his head. Each day for the past week he'd convinced himself he was going to tell her just to talk himself out of it by the time he arrived home. They had a good thing going, living together, watching their kids grow up together, sharing their times together; in some ways he already felt like he was in a relationship with her, just not a physical one. The truth was he was scared if he told her things would change, what if she left him, the thought alone was unbearable. He also felt the timing wasn't ideal, with the anniversary of Neal's death just around the corner perhaps now wasn't the best time to tell her how he felt. How did he feel? He had to figure that out first. Right now he felt pretty damn good feeling her so close to him, breathing in the smell of her shampoo, apple, he thought. She had made the first move, so he took that as enough encouragement and tilted his head to lean on top of hers, holding back the urge to kiss her hair.

The film ended, both boys fast asleep sprawled across their parents laps, Emma smiled at Killian, shrugging her shoulders. He grinned back then said,

"I think it's time these pirates went to bed!"

They carried their sleeping boys upstairs and tucked then into bed, kissed their sons goodnight, and then quietly left the room. Emma quickly peeked into her room to make sure Kathryn was still sleeping then followed Killian downstairs.

"What now?" He asked shrugging his shoulders.

Emma bit her lip, "…well I was kind of hoping to watch tonight's episode of "Ever After", I don't suppose you want to watch it with me?"

Killian didn't always watch his show, when he did it was usually with Robin or other cast members but tonight he could make an exception, let's be honest, he wasn't about to refuse this woman anything.

He smiled at her, "I'd love that. It would be good to get a fan's reaction"

They took their places back on the sofa; he spread the large throw blanket back over them, this time he sat further away from her, wanting to see her reaction as she watched the show. The episode began and Killian watched her watch him on the screen. The light danced on her face, her attention was focused on the TV allowing him to study her expressions change seeing anger, surprise, frustration, humour, and romance. He continued watching in complete contentment until the credits rolled. Emma was misty eyed, there was a particularly romantic scene between Killian and Ruby's characters which touched her. She turned to him and smiled, "I loved that!"

"Thanks" he smiled back, God he wanted to kiss her! "More wine?" He asked holding up her glass.

"Not for me thanks, I should probably go to bed, we have an early flight tomorrow" she looked at him longingly, not wanting to leave him anymore than he wanted her to. She could stay up longer but she didn't trust herself to stay professional after the wine consumed, close physical contact, and emotions running high.

"I suppose you do" was all he could say, the air was thick with tension, and they both felt it. He'd seen her lick her lips when his and Ruby's characters shared a passionate kiss; was it too much to hope that she had developed feelings for him too?

They walked upstairs stopping at her door like they had grown accustomed to over the past few weeks. Killian had an early shoot tomorrow and had to leave before Emma and her kids would wake up so this was goodbye.

"Thank you Killian, for everything...I'm going to miss you"

"I'll to miss you too..." He stepped closer, she stood her ground, her breathing shallow. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest as his gaze moved from her eyes to her lips, "Emma..."

She looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears "yes?" She whispered.

It pained him to see her upset about leaving him, but at the same time it filled him with hope that this was more than just a casual friendship and business arrangement, she'd told him before that she cared for him but now he saw it plain as day. He leaned closer and cupped her cheek; she didn't flinch or pull away. Then gently pulling her to him, their lips crashed together, his other hand wrapped around and pressed in on the small of her back. She was taken by surprise at the hunger of his kiss but allowed herself to get lost in it, her fingers combed through his dark hair and giving it a tug, making him groan into her mouth. She could feel the weight of him, pinning her against the door, and it was everything; everything she'd wanted for the past two weeks, everything she'd been terrified would happen, and at the same time terrified it wouldn't. Reluctantly they pulled apart for air, lips swollen and panting as they stared into each other's eyes both dark and full of want. The tears eventually escaped her eyes as she stroked his cheek, "goodbye Killian" she leaned forward up on her tiptoes and kissed his forehead then turned around opened her door and closed it behind her. She sank to the floor and began to cry.

Killian stood there, unable to move, his fingers slowly coming up to brush his tingling lips. He hadn't exactly planned to kiss Emma tonight, I mean he had been thinking about what it'd feel like to kiss her for weeks, but tonight just happened! And now she was behind her door, he could hear her sobbing and he just wanted to barge in a scoop her in his arms but he could tell she wanted space. The problem was he knew he wouldn't see her again for months, she would leave tomorrow and they wouldn't have a chance to talk it. He wouldn't be able to tell her that it meant something to him, that he didn't regret it, that he would never leave her, that he…he…oh fuck, there it was, as clear as a neon sign blinking at him in the night…he _loved_ her!

David was waiting at the gate when they arrived home, Henry ran into his uncles arms. He squeezed his nephew tightly, set Henry down, gave Emma a hug and took the luggage kart, leaving Emma to just push Kathryn in her stroller.  
"How was your flight?"  
"Good!" Henry said excitedly, "I reached level 20 on my new game, they gave us ice cream, and I watched 2 movies! But the dry air kept hurting mummy's eyes and making her cry..." He added.  
David looked at his sister-in-law's bloodshot eyes with concern, "you ok Emma?"  
"Yeah...I don't know what was up...but they feel better now" she avoided his gaze. The last thing she needed was to tell her brother-in-law that she kissed her boss and was pretty sure she'd completely fallen for him head over heels.

Mary Margaret waved excitedly at them as they pulled up in the driveway, after hugs and hellos the group went inside.  
"Ok Henry, you've been awake since we left so a quick nap for you then you can spend time with your Aunt and Uncle!" Henry yawned and made his way upstairs to his room. Kathryn had fallen asleep and David offered to carry her up to bed. Mary Margaret eyed her friend, sensing something was off.  
"You look exhausted too, Emma!"  
"Yeah...I didn't sleep much" Emma replied honestly.  
Her friend looked at her suspiciously,  
"Is everything...ok?" She asked gently,  
Emma's eyes filled with tears. Mary Margaret rushed over to her and threw her arms around her, Emma finally let out the sobs she'd been holding in all day.

She calmed down and pulled away from her friend who waited patiently for an explanation.  
"He kissed me last night...I kissed him back...I mean...well, we just kissed" Emma admitted.  
Mary Margaret's eyes widened,  
"Oh my God! He likes you?"  
Emma let out a deep breath, and shrugged her shoulders in frustration, "I don't know...I guess...it doesn't matter, I broke my rule, I got involved with the Dad, and I can't work for him anymore!"  
"What did he say?"  
Emma looked out the window, "nothing, we kissed, we said goodbye and I left before he could say anything. I couldn't bear to hear him say it was a mistake."  
Her friend looked at her with compassion, "well we're here for you no matter what Emma. Maybe he wants to have a relationship with you..."  
Emma cut her off, "I doubt that" she looked down, "I need to stop working for him".  
"But Emma..."  
"It's ok; I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm home now, for good!" Emma said determinedly.

That night when she finally went to her room Emma picked up her phone and opened her e-mail, there was one from Killian. Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach felt like lead! After staring at it sitting there in her inbox for a few minutes she opened it;

 _Emma, I hope your trip was as smooth as possible with the kids! I've been thinking a lot about you all, the house feels very empty. Liam misses you all too! We should talk soon, love. Tell me when it's a good time to call. Killian_

Emma read and reread it over and over. He wants to talk about the kiss no doubt, let her down gently. They had crossed the line! He probably felt like he couldn't fire her because of her situation, the thought made Emma feel sick. She'd make it easy for him; she owed him that for his kindness to her and her kids. Emma typed out a reply;

 _Killian, we arrived safely with no delays, thanks for asking. Henry misses Liam too; he's asked if he can have his own e-mail so he can keep in touch, I hope that's ok? I wanted to let you know after much thought, I've decided we are going to stay in Belfast, thank you for all the kindness you have shown my family. I trust 2 months will leave you enough time to find a replacement nanny, please accept this as my official resignation. Emma._

After reading it over she took a deep breath and hit send.


	9. Chapter 9

_**This chapter is much shorter but I hope you'll enjoy it just as much, I've been failing miserably at updating daily but thanks for your patience!**_

 _ **This was actually my first fan fic I ever wrote but I wasn't really happy with it so I have been tweaking things, adding to it and now that I've had more practice writing I'm hoping that I'm improving it!**_

 _ **The song this fic is named after and that features in this chapter is "Say You Love Me" by Jessie Ware**_

 _ **As always I appreciate your feedback and reviews and thanks to all those who have favourited this story.**_

* * *

Killian inhaled sharply, rereading the email for a third time. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut; Emma was gone…forever. He cursed himself for moving too quickly, for pushing her, for _fucking_ kissing her just days before the anniversary of her husband's death; _"What the hell is wrong with you, Jones?"_ He should have known it was too soon, it felt like every time he thought they were getting somewhere Emma would put up another wall, another hurdle for him to jump over. He slumped into his chair, there was another problem; the kiss. It was so much more than a kiss, it awoke something in him, it haunted his dreams that night, played on his mind the whole next day on set, he couldn't put a number on how many times he'd thought about that kiss and he certainly couldn't see himself moving on from it anytime soon, not now he knew he _loved_ her. He let out a groan and rubbed his temples, _"Well Jones, how are you going to clean up this mess?"_ he asked himself. Truth was he didn't know that he could…Emma was gone now and by the sound of her e-mail she was never coming back, even though Henry seemed keen to keep in touch with Liam. Would that be their only connection now, the parents of two boys who are friends? The thought left a sour taste in his mouth; he picked up his phone and began punching numbers,

"Hey Ashley, can you babysit for me tonight?"

"Oh hi Killy! Yeah that's no problem, hot date?"

"Great! Thanks love, 9pm!" he said, rolling his eyes and ignoring her inappropriate line of questioning and her ridiculous nickname for him.

He ended the call and sent Robin a text;

" _ **I've fucked up royally; meet me at The Rabbit Hole at 9:30pm!"**_

* * *

3 weeks had passed since Emma moved back home; it was beginning to feel like she'd never left. Visiting Neal's grave with her kids was hard but strangely therapeutic. She missed him dearly but for the first time she felt like she was going to be ok, like she could do this.  
Killian had replied to her resignation saying he was sorry to see her go and passing on Liam's email address for Henry, the boys had been e-mailing back and forth since with help from their parents, but Emma hadn't heard directly from Killian again. She wasn't surprised, just sad, she missed his company, she missed laughing together, and watching their children grow up together. She was convinced that it was for the best though; she had felt herself falling for him and that kiss! She'd replayed that kiss in her mind countless times; she rolled her eyes thinking about it yet again, _"Why did he have to be such a good kisser? Great Killian, thanks for ruining men for me! No one is ever going to compare to that!"_ She sighed; Emma had decided the lack of communication was probably for the best. It was time for her to start being independent, she moved back into her home, despite David and Mary Margaret insisting she and the kids stay with them longer, Emma needed space to figure out what she was going to do now. She was in the process of redecorating her whole house, time for a fresh start, Emma thought, as she peeled the wallpaper away in their living room.

She was startled by her phone ringing, she smiled when she heard Mary Margaret's voice on the other end,

"Hey Emma, got any plans Friday night?" She asked in her usual chirpy voice.

Emma shrugged and smiled, "just my usual Friday night putting the kids to bed, pouring myself a glass of wine, and curling up with the IKEA catalogue, why?" She made a mental note to get a life!

"Leroy needs a favour"

Emma rolled her eyes, Leory was Mary Margaret's friend, he was the owner of Waxy O'Connors, a local pub known for its live music and wide variety of draft beers. With Leroy there was always a crisis!  
"What's wrong this time?" Emma asked sarcastically.

"His music act for Friday cancelled on him, he wants to know if you can fill in; David said he can babysit!"

Emma wasn't sure, "I dunno Mary Margaret, it's been a long time since I've..."

"Please Emma! He's expecting a full house and they'll be expecting music. He said the band will be there that afternoon to run through your set." Mary Margaret pleaded then added slyly, "I know you've been working on something, a new song?"

Emma stiffened and remained silent.

Mary Margaret sighed, "Is it about Killian?"

Emma squeezed her eyes shut, then took a deep breath, how could she explain this to her friend?

"I…I just had some things I had to get off my chest, feeling's I've been wrestling with…writing it down was therapeutic, you know, since I can't tell him…"

"You could you know" Mary Margaret said softly.

"Could what?"

"You could tell Killian…"

Emma shook her head stubbornly, "No, that's not going to happen! He doesn't feel the same way; I don't want to bother him. I gave him an out and he took it!"

"How do you know that for certain?" her friend asked, exasperated.

"Come on, Mary Margaret! Famous actor makes out with his nanny…we've heard that story a million times and it always ends up the same, them both alone…I'm not saying that Killian took advantage, it was just a mistake to have two emotionally unstable people living in that close a proximity to each other."

"You know Emma, in all 'those stories' it's an affair, neither of you are married nor otherwise attached, maybe he just fell for you? Good old fashioned falling in love. Maybe he thinks you don't want to be with him because…well that's basically what you told him when you said you weren't going back! Maybe his heart is breaking too?"

Tears started to pool in Emma's eyes, and she bit her bottom lip to stifle a sob.

"I know you're just trying to help, and I love you for that, but this isn't like that. Fairy tales aren't real. As for Leroy…"

Emma thought for a moment, she did miss singing and maybe this would be a good place to try out her new song...she agreed, "ok...I'll do it, but tell him he owes me one!"

"Thanks Emma, will do!"

* * *

The atmosphere in Waxy O'Connor's that night was electric, the place was packed and the crowd loved Emma. She was enjoying herself too, the house band was great and she loved playing and singing alongside them. It was time for her last song; she got up from the piano and walked to the centre of the stage. She cleared her throat and said, "you all have been a wonderful crowd tonight, I'm going to finish with a brand new song I've written...you'll be the first to hear it, I hope you enjoy it!" The music started, she lifted the microphone off of the stand and help it to her lips, closing her eyes she sang;

 _Say you love me, to my face_

 _I need it more than your embrace_

 _Just say you want me, that's all it takes_

 _Heart's getting torn, from your mistakes_

' _Cause I don't wanna fall in love_

 _If you don't wanna try_

 _But all that I've been thinking of_

 _Is maybe that you might_

 _Baby, it looks as though we're running out of words to say_

 _And love's floating away_

The words flowed freely from her lips, weeks of pent up emotion finally finding its release. She sang out the last note and then the pub erupted with applause and cheers. Emma smiled shyly, and mouthed, "thank you", giving a small bow then pointing to the band and applauding them before exiting off the stage.

"That was awesome Emma!" Leroy high fived her then pulled her in for a hug. Emma laughed at his enthusiasm, slightly embarrassed; she'd never taken compliments well.

"Thanks for thinking of me Leroy; it felt good to do that again!"

"Anytime sister!" He patted her on the back then left to go talk to the bartender.

A number of people came up and complimented Emma on her performance, she posed for photos and talked to a few of them then after things died down and when she'd given up trying to find Mary Margaret in the crowd, she finally perched herself at the bar, after politely declining a few offers from various men to buy her a drink, something she definitely wasn't ready for yet, she ordered herself a shot of whiskey. The burning sensation it left on her throat was soothing. She'd written down her feelings, poured her heart out to a room full of strangers, and now it was time to move on; even if that meant she had to drink away any memory of Killian Jones.

She was just about to order a second shot when she was interrupted.

"That song was something else Swan!" a familiar voice said behind her,

Emma spun round, " _Oh God!"_ she thought as she swallowed nervously; standing there in ripped jeans and a black leather jacket looking devilishly handsome was Killian Jones.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Sorry for the wait, things have been super busy! Here is the next chapter. I'd love to know what you think._**

* * *

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. The whole world stopped around her, the noise of the crowded pub almost disappeared; a million questions flew through her mind, but mostly just the startling realisation that he was here, _Killian was here!_ She couldn't tell you how long they stood there like that, eyes locked on each other, unmoved, and unaware of people bumping into them. Emma was the first to break the silence.  
"How...w...why? What are you doing here?!" She barely got the words out.

Killian didn't break eye contact, "I needed to talk to you" it wasn't much of an explanation but it was the best he could offer trying to talk over the noise around them. "Can we go outside?" He asked tentatively, holding his breath waiting for her answer.

To his surprise Emma didn't hesitate, "follow me!" She took his hand and led him out of the pub.

In true Belfast fashion it had been raining, now just a misty haze remained, the air was cool and damp, Emma released his hand and hugged herself realising she left her coat inside. He watched her carefully, not entirely sure how he should act around her, he'd come all this way, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her and make her run again. She was trying to hide the fact that she was shivering, if she was honest though, it was only partly due to the cool temperature. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but decided just to offer his jacket, he still wasn't sure if she was happy to see him. He shrugged it off his shoulders, "here, wear this" he said.

Emma shook her head, "no I'm fine"

He sighed and held it out to her, "Emma, take the damn jacket!"

She obeyed, slipped it on and folded her arms sulking.  
Killian racked his brain trying to think of what to say, he'd played this scenario over in his mind countless times but now, when it mattered, he was drawing a blank!

Emma looked up at him, biting her lip. He was just standing there looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite make out. She'd thought about him every day, about that kiss every damn day and tonight he looked so good it hurt. She waited a moment for him to speak but he appeared to be struggling to know how to start. She had to know why he came, so she licked her lips and began,  
"How did you know I'd be here?"

Killian glanced down at her, trying to gauge her mood, he decided honesty was probably the best policy at this point. "I asked Mary Margaret" he answered truthfully.

"I should have known she had something to do with this!" She made a mental note to kill her friend next time she saw her.

He thought she sounded annoyed. "Are you at least a little happy to see me?" He asked hesitantly.  
Her face softened into a smile, "of course I am, you're my friend...I've missed you..." She admitted "I just wasn't expecting you...why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you!" He smiled, "and...Mary Margaret thought it might make you more nervous if you knew I was there…in the crowd."

Emma suddenly remembered the song, it was about him! Did he know?! Now she was really going to kill Mary Margaret, she knew that Emma was going to perform the song she wrote about Killian! She felt so vulnerable, him hearing her pour out her heart like that. God, this was mortifying!  
"I see" she said in a small voice, her walls shooting up around her heart, swallowing the panic rising in her throat.

"I liked your song..." it was true, the song was bloody brilliant, he had no idea she was that talented! His chest had swelled with pride watching her up on that stage looking beautifully raw as she sang her heart out. He wondered if the song was about him, he hoped it was.  
Emma thanked him quietly, her cheeks flaring red, she stared at the ground, brows furrowed, and refusing to look at him in case her eyes betray her and he knows it was about him! He nervously scratched behind his ear, he just had to go for it, and before he could talk himself out of it he said, "I wanted to talk to you Emma about how we left things...it didn't feel right...not…you know...talking about what happened..."

Emma continued to stare at the ground, "what does it matter Killian? It was just a kiss!" She couldn't bring herself to look at him, she couldn't bear to see his eyes confirm her fears that Killian regretted kissing her that night.

Killian was hurt, but continued; he had to tell her how he felt, that's why he came after all! If she decided to kick him to the curb well that was up to her but at least he'd know that he tried. "It wasn't just a kiss to me Emma, it revealed something...I never thought I could fall for someone else after I lost Milah...that is", he swallowed the lump in his throat "...until I found you." There it was, the truth, he'd laid it all out now.

Emma stared at him in disbelief. "What are you saying?" She whispered.

He thought for a moment, "I'm saying, or rather asking you if you would go on a date with me?" he said, more confidently than he felt.

Emma smiled, "I'd like that"

Killian mirrored her smile, "tomorrow night? I fly back to Dublin the next morning"

"I'll need to find a babysitter but..."

"I'll do it!" Mary Margaret squealed and they both spun around.

"How long have you been standing there?!" Emma asked.

"Long enough!" Mary Margaret hugged them both at the same time, "I'm so happy for you!" Both Killian and Emma laughed awkwardly.

"Ok! You're embarrassing me now!" Emma playfully shoved her friend, and then looked back at Killian, "tomorrow night then?"

"Pick you up at 7?"

"It's a date" she replied softly, biting her lip.

She started to shrug off his jacket; he held his hand up signalling her to stop, "Keep it! I'll get it tomorrow! Goodnight ladies", with that he left.

Emma tossed another dress on the growing mountain of clothes on her bedroom floor.

"What about this?" Mary Margaret picked up a short black figure hugging dress with a high neckline.

"I dunno, it's a bit sexy!" Emma held it up against herself.

Her friend rolled her eyes, "yeah, that's kind of the point Emma!"

Emma blushed, "ok, the black dress it is!" She picked up a pair of black ankle boots and Killian's leather jacket. It smelt like him and just feeling it against her skin sent shivers through her body and set the butterflies in her stomach off again. The doorbell rang; making those butterflies immediately begin to wage war as Emma walked up to the front door, took a deep breath, and opened it. Killian was standing there oozing sex appeal in black jeans, a light blue shirt and duffle coat.

He looked at Emma in wonder and said in a soft genuine voice, "You look stunning, Swan!"

Emma blushed, bit down on her lip then looked up at him and said "thanks, you look..."

He leaned in and smiled wickedly, "I know". She giggled then rolled her eyes.  
"I'm glad you kept the jacket, it looks better on you!" He wet his lips.

Emma wanted him right there and then but those thoughts were immediately interrupted by tiny feet running downstairs. "Killy!" Henry jumped into his arms, squeezing Killian with all his might.

Killian laughed and hugged Henry tightly back, "hey kid! I've missed you!"

"I missed you too! Are you staying?" he asked hopefully. Emma's heart broke.

Killian set Henry down then squatted to his level and looked him in the eye, "not this time buddy, but I'll hopefully see you again soon." He ruffled the boy's hair.

Emma gave her son a hug and kiss on the head, "Ok kiddo, you be good for Mary Margaret, I love you!"

"Love you too Mum!"

Emma watched her son run back into the living room then turned to Killian, "shall we?"

"Please!" He smiled and opened the door for them.

As they were leaving Mary Margaret shouted after them, "Have fun, don't rush back!"  
Emma rolled her eyes and she and Killian both laughed.

They walked hand in hand into the restaurant, just that action alone felt so new and so exciting, she was almost reluctant to untangle their fingers when they reached their table. Killian must have had the same thought because as soon as they sat down he reached across the table and took her hand in his again, gently rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. It surprised her how such a small thing made her feel so at ease, she was on a date with Killian Jones, _freaking Killian Jones,_ she should be freaking out but for some reason being here with him having a nice quiet meal felt like the most natural thing in the world!

The waiter took their orders and left, Killian looked over at Emma, she was a goddess, not a day had gone by that he hadn't thought of her and now she was here in front of him, he craved her, he wanted to touch more of her...but instead opted for talking. "You were amazing last night Emma! I...didn't know you wrote songs too..."

'Shit!' Emma thought, 'he knows!'  
She pulled her hand away instinctively, she could feel the blood rising to her cheeks but there was no denying it now, "um, yeah" she cleared her throat and tried to act casually, "I actually prefer it to performing, it's...therapeutic...but, standing pouring out your heart in front of a room full of strangers is slightly terrifying!" She chuckled.

Killian looked into her eyes and said hesitantly, "and friends...?"

Emma couldn't look away, losing herself in his blue eyes.  
"Well...I didn't know you were there, if I did...I probably wouldn't have..."

Killian took her hand back in his.  
"I'm glad you did..." He said softly, "I'm glad I know." The confession scared them both a little, he smiled at her but before he could say anything else the waiter brought their food.

Over dinner they talked about their kids, filling each other in on their day to day lives. They finished dessert and Killian asked for the bill. He flashed Emma a charming smile and asked, "wanna go for a walk?" She nodded her head; he helped her put his jacket back on then took her hand in his as they left the restaurant.

They walked down the street hand in hand then he stopped under a streetlight and turned to look at her, basking in her glow, she looked up at him expectantly wetting her lips, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, sliding his hand round her back, drawing her in closer, she opened her mouth letting his tongue slide in and massage hers. Emma's fingers combed through his hair, then she slid her hand down until it was resting on his chest, she could feel his heart beating faster as he deepened the kiss. They reluctantly broke apart for air, panting as they still clung to each other. Emma licked her lips and it took every ounce of self-control Killian had to not take her right there. Instead he put his finger under her chin, raising her head until their eyes met; they could see the desire swirling in each other's eyes.

She exhaled and said, "You may look like a gentleman but you kiss like a pirate!"

He cocked his eyebrow and one side of his mouth rose into a sly smirk, "Is that so?"

He kissed her again, slower this time, taking the time to explore her mouth, gently stroking the length of her arm with his hand, taking both her hands in his as he pulled his lips away.

"I don't want to scare you by telling you how I feel...so...I'm just going to ask, will you go out with me again Emma?"

She was taken aback by his honesty; she knew she loved him, she'd never been more certain of anything in her life but he was right, this was technically their first date, and that declaration could wait for another time. So instead she leaned up and gave him a chaste kiss and hovering there whispered, "yes".

He kissed her back, and then groaned, "I suppose I better take you home."

They walked up to the front door and stayed there, fingers intertwined, neither one wanting to leave the other.  
"Emma..." Killian turned to her, she looked up at him and he continued, "I've been nominated for an IFTA..."

"Killian that's amazing!" Emma interrupted him excitedly.

He smiled at her enthusiasm,  
"I was wondering if you would come with me...as my date?"

Her eyes widened in surprise.  
"To the IFTA's?! Are you sure? There are cameras there..."

"I'm well aware" he said amused by her sudden panic.

"And a red carpet...what would I wear?! I'd need to get hair and makeup...oh God, what if they ask me questions, like who I'm wearing and how we met and if I'm your girlfriend..."

Killian laughed placing his hands on her shoulders to calm her, "whoa there! You'd look stunning in anything Swan, I can get hair and makeup organised if it'd make you feel more comfortable, you wouldn't have to walk the red carpet...unless you wanted to...and they probably wouldn't ask you questions..."

Emma thought for a moment,  
"When is it?" She asked.

"In 2 weeks, you could fly down the morning of and then leave the next day if you needed to...or...stay longer?" He said the last part slowly, his voice full of hope.

Emma's mind was going 100 miles per hour, only yesterday she thought she'd never see Killian again and now he was inviting her to an award ceremony as his date.  
"Where would I stay?" She asked.

He scratched behind his ear, "I was hoping you'd stay with Liam and me...we did live together for 3 months..."

 _'Yes but that was different'_ she thought to herself. She cupped his cheek with her hand, smiled at him and said, "I'd love to come support you." She kissed him again then asked, "Can I keep your jacket...for now at least?" She needed something to remind her that this wasn't a dream when she woke up tomorrow.

"As you wish, love"


	11. Chapter 11

_**It's time for the second date!**_

 _ **I enjoyed writing this one! Thank you for all your lovely comments. Getting your feedback helps encourage me to keep writing.**_

* * *

The days passed slowly and Emma found herself thinking about Killian all the time! She'd day dream about his eyes while she made herself coffee in the morning, thinking about his smile as she made dinner, reminiscing about the way his was around Henry as she watched her son play at the park. Night time was the worst; he would usually call her in the late evenings, wanting to talk to her before they went to bed, then she would toss and turn replaying every word he said in her mind, not wanting to forget any of it come morning. It was going to be difficult having a long distance relationship, especially when that relationship was so new but Killian was determined to do whatever it took to make it work and at the moment that meant talking to Emma everyday despite how crazy his schedule was. He needed to assure her that he was serious about them, that he was in this for the long haul! She looked forward to the evenings, anticipating his call each night, her heart doing flip flops every time she saw his picture appear on her screen; he'd sent her a selfie of him and Liam, it was cute and goofy and the only picture she had, so that was what filled her screen each time he called. Their nightly conversations were much like the ones they would have had back in Vancouver by the fire pit; filling each other in on their days, talking about the kids, and discussing family and friends, Though while it was comfortable and familiar it was also new, Emma was reminded of this each time Killian said something like, "I miss you", or "I can't wait to see you again", he'd slip compliments in effortlessly and each time Emma would be caught off guard and find herself blushing. He would call her beautiful, mention how the memory of her kisses haunt him at night, tell her how she is the last thing he thinks of at night and the first person he thinks of each morning, and each time she would go weak at the knees. As scary as it was for her to hear those things, it was exactly what she needed to dispel any doubts that she was doing the right thing but giving Killian a chance.

It was during one of those days Emma was enjoying a quiet moment while Henry was at David and Mary Margaret's and Kathryn was taking a nap when her phone buzzed, she looked down and smiled at Killian's name flashing on the screen. She swiped across to read the message;

 _ **'Hey love, I've sent you a package, it should arrive today, call me when you get it! Xx'**_

A smile formed on her lips, he got her something? Her mind started to race wondering what it could be. Luckily she didn't have to wait long to find out as the doorbell rang moments later. She peeked out the window and saw a courier's van and ran downstairs to open the door. The delivery man handed her a large box, she signed for it then shut the door and hurried into the living room to open it. Carefully she cut the tape along the edges then lifted the lid and set it to one side, the box was full of folded cream tissue paper which she gently opened revealing black material, her eyes widened when she lifted out a Zuhair Murad gown. It was the most beautiful dress she'd ever seen, a floor length, one shouldered dress with lace cut out decal on the waist. She held it against herself and twirled around, she couldn't wait to try it on. A black box and card sitting at the bottom of the package caught her attention, she opened the small black box to find a pair of pear drop diamond earrings, and Emma gasped! The dress and earrings together probably cost more than her whole wardrobe! She opened the card and read;

 _Emma,_ _  
Thank you for agreeing to be my date.  
Killian xx_

Emma was overwhelmed by his generosity. It was completely unexpected and, honestly, she wasn't sure how to react. It was beautiful, all of it was beautiful, but it seemed too much! Should she just accept it or should she be offended that he thought she needed the charity. Emma was conflicted so she did the only thing she could think of, she picked up her phone and called Mary Margaret;

"Hey Emma!" her friend's cheery voice sang down the phone.

"Hey! Um…I need to ask you something…"

"Sure! What's up?"

"Should I be angry that Killian just had a dress and jewellery sent to my house for me to wear to the IFTA's?"

"Wait, he did what?"

"He text me this morning to say he'd sent me something and to call him when I got it…well it just arrived and it's a designer gown and diamond earrings!"

"Emma, that's amazing!"

"Is it? You…don't think it's a bit much?"

"Emma…I think he can afford it…"

"Yeah but I couldn't! This is a 2nd date…it seems a bit... _excessive…"_

Mary Margaret sighed, "If this was any other guy, I'd tell you to run for the hills, but Em, this is Killian! It may be your second official date but you know him well and he's never treated you like a charity case before, you know he would never think that of you! Honestly, he is probably nervous and just wants you to feel like a princess on your date, he'll know that you will be nervous too being around all those famous people and having cameras and reporters there, I'm sure he's just trying to do whatever he can to make what could be a very intense date for a relationship in its early as comfortable as possible for you."

Emma thought for a moment. "I suppose you're right"

"Do you at least like the dress?"

"It's breath-taking!"

"There is something very romantic about it all!" Mary Margaret's voice became wistful.

"Really?"

"Yes! Are you kidding me? Think about it; Killian had to go look at dresses and he chose that one, he wanted to see you in that, he thought about how you would look in it and liked that mental image enough for go buy it for you."

"Well no pressure then! I hope I can live up to his expectation!"

"You should call him Emma, he knows you too well and he is probably nervous about how you'll react to such a grand gesture, I bet he's a wreck right now!" she giggled.

Emma took a deep breath, "You're right, I'll give him a call, thanks Mary Margaret!"

She ended the call and looked back at the dress, it really was stunning, and her style too! How did he know her so well? She grabbed it and ran up to her room; she threw off her clothes and slipped into the dress, taking a look in her floor length mirror. It fit her like a glove, clinging to all the right places, she turned around and looked back over her shoulder, and god her ass looked amazing! _"Well I'll be damned, the boy's done well!"_ she thought to herself. She couldn't stop running her hands along her body, the material felt so good. A small ball of excitement formed in the pit of her stomach as she wondered if Killian would find it just as hard to keep his hands off her on the night. She smiled, chewing her bottom lip, then reached for her phone to call him.

"Hello love, did it arrive?" he sounded nervous.

"Killian you shouldn't have! This is too beautiful for me!"

"That's not possible Emma! So...you're not mad?"

"No…not mad, just a bit overwhelmed. I really wasn't expecting it…"

"If you want to wear something else, please don't feel like you have to wear it just because I got it for you! I won't be offended if you don't like it…"

She could hear the uncertainty in his voice, there was something very endearing about how anxious he sounded.

"I love it! In fact I'm wearing it right now, looking in the mirror. It's perfect!"

He breathed a sigh of relief. "I can't want to see you in it!"

Emma blushed "I hope I live up to your expectations! Does this make you my Fairy Godmother?"

"You don't need me to make you a princess, love!"

Emma smiled shyly, she didn't know what to say to that.

"God Emma, I miss you!"

"Not long now!"

"Can't wait! Look, love, I better go, I have an interview, I'm so glad you like it! I'm counting the days!"

"I can't wait to see you either! Bye Killian"

Emma ended the call and held her phone to her heart as she looked at her gifts.

* * *

Nervous energy flowed through her as the plane landed. It'd only been two weeks since she last saw Killian and despite the fact he called her every night she couldn't wait to see him, that paired with the nervousness she felt about tonight's event made her feel almost nauseous!

The sight of him waiting for her at the gate did nothing to calm her nerves. How did he make jeans, hoodie, and a baseball cap look so damn sexy? His face lit up when he saw her, melting her heart. With a huge smile on his face, he threw his arms around her and all her nerves disappeared instantly, all she could feel was the warmth and comfort of his embrace. He kissed her head and reluctantly they pulled apart.

"I missed you Swan!" He intertwined his fingers with hers.

"I'm here now!" Emma nudged his shoulder with hers as they walked out the airport.

After a 40 minute drive they pulled up at his house, it was a large pale blue country home with a wraparound porch; it was charming but not at all what she expected. He grabbed her case and carried it inside, and shutting the door behind them he said, "Welcome, love!"

He set the case down and reached out for her, she smiled and snaked her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He kissed her head again, then pulled back and gently lifted his hand to her face, stroking her cheek.

"Make yourself at home; your hair and makeup will be here in about an hour. We have to leave at 5pm. I'm afraid I have a short radio interview in 30mins I need to get ready for, they're just going to do it over the phone."

"Where should I get ready?" Emma asked looking around his house at the surprisingly modern interior. Above the fireplace was a large print from Killian and Milah's wedding.

Killian followed her gaze, and looked back at her nervously. She didn't seem upset by it, just curious. He put his hand on her arm to get her attention, "upstairs, first door on the left is the guest room, you can use it to get ready. I'll just be an hour." He kissed her on the forehead, gave her a wink, and then went into the study.

Emma walked into the kitchen and started looking in the cupboards until she found all the ingredients she needed to make hot chocolate, she wondered if it was stuff he would usually stock his cupboards with or if he had bought it specially knowing her addiction to the drink. She poured two mugs, taking one and tiptoed into the study where Killian was talking on the phone.  
"...I just feel really honoured to be in such good company with actors whose work I've admired for years..." Emma carefully placed the mug next to him, he looked up and flashed her a smile and a wink, mouthing 'thank you'. She tiptoed back out again and carried her bag upstairs.

* * *

It was 4:30pm, Emma's hair and makeup were finished, and she slipped into her dress, put on her earrings and took a look in the full length mirror. She hardly recognised herself; she looked like a movie star and felt like a princess. The butterflies returned to her stomach as she walked out to the top of the stairs, the house was full of activity, Killian was in the thick of it, and then he turned round and saw her, he was wearing a black Armani suit, Emma couldn't help but smile, he looked so handsome.

He stood there looking in awe at her as she walked downstairs. The heat of his stare made her blush. He walked up to her, kissed her hand and said "you look..."

"...I know!" She smiled

* * *

Lights flashed all around them as the car pulled up at the carpet, the atmosphere was buzzing, fans screamed when Killian stepped out of the car. He smiled and waved to them, then ran around to open Emma's door for her. He took her hand and led her towards the red carpet. Emma had decided to avoid the press line but did pose for one picture with Killian before she made her way inside and let him deal with the press and meet with the fans.

As the ceremony started Emma took her seat proudly beside Killian. When it came time for his category she squeezed his hand.

"And the winner for Best Actor in a television drama is…"


	12. Chapter 12

_**Ask and you shall receive! I just felt this chapter flow out of me today so here is the next chapter in record time!**_

 _ **I hope you enjoy their relationship development.**_

 _ **I have a crazy weekend ahead so the next chapter probably won't come until early next week.**_

* * *

Killian felt Emma squeeze his hand, his heart skipped a beat, and he looked over at her, taking in her features while she stared at the stage. She was stunning, he'd always found her attractive but tonight she glowed and she was here with him, and he could hardly believe how lucky he was! He'd been nervous about asking her and then nervous about buying her that dress but she seemed to like it and she looked radiant in it. He before he knew it his mind drifting to imagine what it'd be like helping her out of it...

The room erupted in applause waking Killian out of his daydream, _shit!_ He wasn't listening, whose name did they call? He looked at Emma who gave him a sympathetic smile, "I'm sorry you didn't win."

A wave of relief washed over him, _"Oh thank God, that would have been embarrassing!"_ He thought.

"It's ok, I didn't expect to!" He smiled back at her, "besides I kind of already feel like a winner tonight..." He winked at her and rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand.

Emma could feel desire building in her core. Did he know the affect he had on her? She was very conscious that this was a public event, they were stepping out publicly as a couple, Killian didn't seem to mind, he'd held her hand, rested his hand on her knee, and even whispered in her ear a few times then kissed her on her temple. She worried there would be photos or videos online tomorrow and his fans would be buzzing about it. She couldn't complain; she'd loved every touch, every caress, and every whisper dripping with promise of things to come later that night. Her whole body was on edge, anticipating the next physical contact, it was the sweetest torture.

The ceremony came to an end and everyone started to make their way to the after parties. Killian chatted with a few different actors, directors and industry people he knew. Emma smiled politely, she knew it was important for Killian to maintain relationships but it was definitely his world not hers. She was more than a little relieved when he rested his hand on the small of her back, leaned in and whispered. "Shall we?" She smiled and nodded, trying to hide how her pulse accelerated at his touch.

They walked outside and Emma turned to him, "Where to now?"

"We've been invited to a couple parties..." He moved a step closer to her, lowering his voice.

"...but I told them I already had plans..." He smiled and raised one eyebrow.

Emma closed the gap between them, and laying her hand on his chest and looking up at him through her long eye lashes said, "oh yeah? And what plans might they be...?"

He needed her, more than he'd ever needed anything. His eyes grew dark with want, "Well..."he set his hand firmly on her hip while the other slid down her back resting on her rear, his tongue brushed his bottom lip, "I thought I could finish giving you the tour of my house..."

She bit her lip, leaned in and whispered, "That sounds like a great idea"

He gave her a gentle squeeze then took her hand and led her to the car.

Slowly they walked hand in hand up to his front door. They entered quietly, the picture of propriety, after all one could never be too careful, you never knew where the paparazzi could be hiding out, but no sooner had he shut the door and locked it then he had her pinned against the wall.

Their kiss was deep, full of wanting, he pulled away and started kissing her down her neck, "where's...Liam..." She panted as each kiss sent a surge of energy through her. "He's...at...my...parents..," he said each word between a kiss. Emma relaxed; she didn't have to worry about any awkward discoveries! She pulled Killian in by his suit collar, kissed him then said in a breathy voice "I need you...right now!"

He smiled, "as you wish!" Then scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs and into his bedroom. Once he set her down she slid his jacket off his shoulders as they continued frantically kissing, their lips seeking out each other, drawn together with a magnetic force they didn't expect and couldn't control. She stopped just long enough to undo his shirt buttons; she only had a couple left when Killian cupped her face in his hands, insecurities and doubts suddenly plaguing his mind.

"Emma...are you sure?"

She stopped, looked up at him with eyes full of adoration. Her voice was slow and calm, despite her pulse racing, she needed him to know this wasn't haphazard, that she was ready to be in a relationship with him.

"I want this Killian...I want you!"

That was all the encouragement he needed, he spun her around so she was facing the wall and slowly unzipped her dress, the anticipation building in both of them. She shrugged her shoulder and the dress slid down her body and landed in a pile on the floor, leaving her just wearing a pair of black lace panties. Killian let out a groan; he allowed his eyes to survey her pastel skin, her toned back, the curve of her ass, and the length of her long slender legs. _"Breathe Killian, just breathe!"_ he had to remind himself, and that was just her back! He then spun her around to face him again so he could look at her.

"Bloody hell Emma, do you even know how breathtakingly beautiful you are?"

Emma blushed, then feeling her confidence grow, leaned in, gently bit his ear and whispered.

"Why don't you show me"

* * *

The morning sun shone through the window stirring Emma from her sleep, she opened her eyes and saw Killian asleep next to her, their bodies still intertwined. She watched his chest slowly rise and fall, his face peaceful and content. She lay there for a few moments, soaking up his warmth, replaying last night's activities in her mind, it was amazing! His touch had left her feeling completely and utterly worshipped. She slowly untangled herself from him, jumped in the shower then, since her clothes were in the guest room, slipped on one of his t-shirts and made her way downstairs.

The coffee machine hummed in the background as Emma picked up her phone and scrolled through her messages, they were mostly Mary Margaret and David trying to get details on her date, she smiled and rolled her eyes. They definitely didn't need to know the details! She poured her coffee then curled up on the sofa and decided to do an Internet search on Killian at last night's event. Several links came up and she worked her way through reading and watching interviews he did leading up to last night, she welled up with pride listening to him talk about his love of acting and how honoured he felt to be recognised. She moved on to pictures from the awards ceremony red carpet, he made the best dressed list, he did look amazing, and she couldn't help but smile thinking back to it. Then something caught her eye, a headline "Killian Jones's mystery date" her eyes narrowed as she clicked on the link and started reading;

 _'Sorry ladies! Killian Jones steps out on the red carpet with a beautiful blonde mystery date, prompting us to wonder if he is officially off the market._

 _The Actor tragically lost his wife last year in a car accident but since has been linked to a string of women including Ruby Lucas, his co-star on Ever After, though both stars deny any romance rumours. Sightings of him packing on the PDA with a new blonde have led us to believe our favourite bachelor has officially moved on'_

Emma winced at how cold and clinical the article was but continued reading;

 _'The IFTA nominated actor showed up on the red carpet looking every part movie star in an Armani suit, arriving with his date he posed for a picture then continued the press line alone. When asked who she was he simply replied, "she's my date tonight, isn't she beautiful?" Playing coy with the press is nothing new for the actor who is notoriously private about his life off screen however footage of the ceremony does show them holding hands and our sources say they were seen kissing outside after the event before leaving in the same car. He did not appear to attend any after parties, leading us to believe he had his own private party for two at home! Time will tell if this was a one-time fling or if Killian Jones has a new girlfriend.'_

Emma felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "Great!" She thought, "Now the whole world knows I had sex with Killian!" She groaned and threw her head back.

"You ok, love?" Killian walked into the room wearing just sweatpants and looking adorable with his messed up hair. Emma smiled, she could certainly get used to that view every morning!

"yeah...I was just reading about last night, someone wrote an article about us, speculating if I'm your new girlfriend and basically saying we had sex last night...you know, to the whole world..."

Killian's brows furrowed as he joined her on the sofa, sitting side on so he could face her. He sighed,

"I'm sorry Emma, I should have warned you that might happen, though I never imagined they'd go into that much...detail..." He looked annoyed.

Emma showed him her phone, "they have pictures of us kissing outside the event, and getting into the same car." He took her phone and scanned the article, his face darkening. Emma reached out and touched his arm, "they had no right to talk so flippantly about your wife."

He gave Emma a sad smile, "believe it or not this is pretty tame compared to some things written about Milah and I, I've just learned to ignore it, it'd be better for you if you didn't look us up online from now on, people can be cruel and there is no point letting them get to you. This is why I don't talk about my private life!"

He looked down and read the rest of the article wincing at the last line. He looked at Emma apologetically, "I'm so sorry you saw this shit." He took her hand in his. "Truth is Emma I have moved on, even though Milah will always have a place in my heart..."

"I understand..." She smiled at him reassuringly, "I know exactly what you mean!" She looked down at her wedding and engagement ring, then slipped them off her finger and slid them onto the chain of the necklace she was wearing then fastened it again behind her neck.

Killian stared at her, even though he'd stopped wearing his ring after he kissed her in Belfast, he knew it was a big step and one he didn't want her to feel pressured into!

"love, don't feel like you have to...if you're not ready..."

She sat on his lap, straddling him and held his face in her hands.

"Trust me; last night wouldn't have happened if I wasn't ready! It wasn't some drunken mistake or spontaneous poor decision, I was completely sober, and I wanted it...I..." She bit her lip shyly, "...I enjoyed it...but I think you could tell..."

Killian raised one eyebrow as she continued.

"I'm glad it happened...I...I love you Killian Jones!"

His face broke into a huge smile and his eyes glistened as they looked into hers, which were also tearing up.

"I love you too, Emma Nolan."

They kissed slowly and softly as tears fell down Emma's face. When they pulled apart he gently wiped them away with his thumb and asked, "Does this mean I'm officially off the market?"

She laughed, "You better be! Or your girlfriend might have something to say about it!"

"Girlfriend" he repeated back smiling. "I like the sound of that..."


	13. Chapter 13

_**I'm so sorry this has taken so long to update! It's a shorter chapter this week and a little angsty but**_

 _ **I figured they would have some relationship issues they'd need to sort out early doors.**_

 _ **I guess it's their first fight.**_

 _ **Let me know what you think, I feed off of reviews! Thanks for reading along!**_

* * *

\- 6 weeks later -

Killian and Liam were flying up to Belfast for the night, it was the first time he was staying with Emma and the kids since they stared seeing each other, until now she had been the one to go stay with him, inviting him and Liam to stay at her home with her family was a big step for her.

She'd been nervous during the week leading up to their visit, Mary Margaret had tried to reassure her countless times but she just didn't understand, how could she?

She was pouring herself a cup of coffee when the front door opened. David walked in annoyingly cheery for 8:30am!

"Good morning!" he walked over to his sister-in-law and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't worry I'll knock first when Killian is here!" he gave her a wink.

Emma's mouth dropped open and her cheeks matched the colour of her red jacket.

"Hey, hey...I'm kidding, Emma, are you ok?" he reached out to touch her arm.

"I...I'm just really nervous."

"But you and Killian have been seeing each other for a while, you've stayed with him twice, why are you nervous?"

"It's the first time he will be staying here, in my home...it just makes it all seem... _real_!"

"And let me guess...if it's real then it might be taken away?" he asked sympathetically.

"Exactly"she sighed. "What if it's all in my head."

He stood in front of her and put a hand on each shoulder so she was looking right at him.

"Emma I'm only going to say this once so listen carefully; Killian adores you, anyone could see the way he looks at you and know that! You deserve this, you deserve to be happy! Sometimes wonderful things just happen and we need to accept them, enjoy them, and be grateful for them. Don't worry away your time together, we know better than most people how short and precious life is, Neal would want you to be happy, he'd want to know that you and the kids were loved and taken care of. Killian is a good guy, you can trust him with your heart!"

"Wow Dave, I don't know what to say..."

He smiled, "Don't say anything, just take your coffee and go pick up your man, I've got everything here under control, I'll get the kids ready and meet you guys at the zoo!"

* * *

Emma took David's advice to heart and focused on having a great day with David, Killian and their children. The kids were so excited to all be back together again! Once they finally got them to bed after a full day at the zoo and the movies; Killian and Emma made their way downstairs to the kitchen. Emma pulled a bottle of wine out of the cupboard and opened it while Killian got 2 glasses; she poured then sat up on her kitchen counter top. Killian walked up and stood in front of her, an arm on either side, his thumb gently stroking her thigh. The mix of the wine and his touch was intoxicating. Since their first night in Dublin they'd only shared one other night together a few weeks ago when Emma visited him again. He'd flown up to Belfast a couple times but only for a day trip to see her and the kids. They still hadn't told their children about them, it seemed early, but tonight Killian would stay! The long distance had already been taking its toll on their new relationship. Seeds of doubt had been forming in Emma's mind, growing into ugly weeds that twisted themselves around any happy memories they had together, choking them. She found herself questioning their relationship almost every day he wasn't there to hold her hand, kiss her head or whisper sweet things that drove the fears away. It was hard for her to have confidence in a relationship that was so new, a relationship that the world was watching and probably betting would fail. She had followed Killian's advice and stopped looking them up online but it didn't matter, she could guess what was written about them, and she'd seen how ugly the media could be. The fact was she didn't need to tabloids or blogs to torture her, her own mind did it on its own. It was classic Emma, anything that felt too good to be true she assumed was. Killian could sometimes hear it in her voice when we called her, the hesitancy. And there was no hiding it when he was with her and could see in plain as day in those beautiful sad eyes; he tried his hardest to reassure her, to show her how much he adored her but those walls were still there.

"Emma?" Killian asked hesitantly.

"Mmmhmmm" she looked up from her glass.  
His thumb stopped for a moment.

"Come back to Vancouver with me."

Her body stiffened. "Killian, I'm not going to work for you and be in a relationship with you, we're past me being your nanny."

"I don't want you to be my nanny," he replied. "I want you to move in with me..." He eyed her face looking for a reaction.

Emma set her glass down and thought for a moment. "What would I do for work?" She asked.

"Well...you wouldn't...have to work..."

He tried to tread lightly; he knew she wouldn't warm to that idea easily.

"So...I would just live off your charity while repaying you with sex and free childcare? What would I get; an allowance each month?! I'm not that kind of girl Killian!"

He felt his anger rise, "For fuck sake Emma! That's not what this is and you know that!"

"I know you're not that kind of girl! Believe me, I know! But this is what couples do Emma! I was going to suggest you rent your house again and use that as your income, but if you think you're just 'sex and free childcare' to me then forget it!" He picked up his coat and walked out the front door.

Emma's heart sank, she shouldn't have said what she did; she just wasn't expecting him to ask her to move in. She knew the long distance relationship wasn't ideal for him either. She didn't want to be accused of being a gold digger or free loader, but that wasn't what was really holding her back, she was afraid...and now she had hurt Killian which was the last thing she wanted to do. She drank the rest of her glass and waited for him to come home.

Killian shoved his hands into his pockets as he angrily strutted down the street, her words replaying in his mind, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. How could she say that?! She knew how much she meant to him! He kicked a small stone on the ground sending it flying. That was just it though, she did know, he knew her well enough to know that she does this, sabotages her own happiness and keeps people at a distance. It felt like every time he scaled one of her walls and got closer to her within a matter of days there was another one in its place he had to tackle. He sighed, it was worth it though, those moments when she opened herself to him, those times she smile that truly blissfully honest smile, when her eyes were full of love and wide open allowing him a glimpse of her soul, even the tears she trusted him with. Those were the moments he found himself fighting for.

Her reaction tonight had caught him off guard. Things had been going so well and he knew she didn't like being apart just as much as he didn't so he thought she'd be happy he asked her to move in. He needed to find out what triggered her response; he'd just have to wait patiently until she was ready to tell him. He turned around and started walking back to her house now he had cooled down. The last thing he wanted to do was waste a rare night together by fighting!

He quietly opened the front door, not sure what state he'd find her in. The house was silent, there was a dim light coming from the living room, he followed it and found her fast asleep on the couch. Her glass of wine was empty and one look at her face told him she'd been crying. He sighed and lifted her in his arms and carried her up to bed. He laid her down, got undressed and crawled in beside her.

She began to stir, "mmmm, Killian?" She reached out, eyes still closed.

"I'm right here, love." He wrapped his arm around her waist.

She slowly opened her eyes, "I'm sorry." She said as a tear ran down her cheek.

He wiped it away with his finger and whispered, "shhhh, it's ok, I'm not going to pressure you into something you're not ready for. We'll figure something out."

She shook her head, "I shouldn't have said what I did, and I know you don't think of me like that, I'm just scared that's what other people will think. I'm scared of being in the public eye, or the children being photographed, but most of all I'm scared that...It's all too good to be true and it's only a matter of time before I lose you too!"

Killian pulled her into his arms and squeezed her as he kissed her on the head. "I'll do whatever I can to protect you and the kids from the paparazzi, I don't give a shit what people think, and anyone who knows you knows that's not what you are. And as for losing me...believe me, love, I understand, I wake up in cold sweats sometimes having nightmares about losing you, I guess it's natural considering what we've gone through, but Emma, I'll never leave you by choice, that's why I asked you to come to Vancouver, I want to be a family!"

Another tear escaped her eye, she lifted her head back and reached up to kiss him, long and slow. When she pulled away she said, "I don't want to be apart from you either. Let me look into our options tomorrow...but for now I just want you!"

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her, hovering millimetres from her lips, "I think I can arrange that!"


	14. Chapter 14

_**I know there has been a very long wait and I'm sorry, there were two ways this story could go and I was trying to decide if I really wanted to go this way but my indecisiveness finally subsided so here is the next chapter and they should be more frequent from here on out!**_

* * *

The next morning Emma woke to an empty bed, when she got downstairs she found Killian lying on the floor playing with the boys and their avengers action figures while Kathryn sat on the floor watching them as she chewed her building blocks gurgling.  
"Avengers assemble!" Killian shouted holding the Captain America figure;  
"Right behind you Cap" Henry made his Ironman run up behind Killian while Liam said in a booming voice, "calling the God of thunder!" Waving his Thor figure in the air.  
Emma smiled; he really was a great Dad, probably because he was a big kid himself!

"Who's having more fun here, Killian or you two?" She asked laughing at them as she dodged their epic fight scene to pick up her daughter and give her a kiss on the cheek.  
"Ahhhhhhhhh he got me! Go on without me boys, you can defeat him!" Killian dramatically died, giving Emma a wink. She rolled her eyes at him and walked over to the coffee maker to pour herself a cup.

The boys continued their war, running into the garden shouting and making sound effects. Killian jumped up and walked over to her planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Good morning, love." He flashed his most charming smile.  
"Good morning!" She replied sweetly. "What time is your flight?" She asked, sad his stay was already coming to an end.  
"Well...I was going to talk to you about that..." He scratched behind his ear. "What if I could change a few things on my schedule and stay for a few more days? Would you want that?" He asked hesitantly.  
She smiled widely, "you could do that?"  
"Aye" he nodded, "I would have to do a DVD commentary over the phone here tomorrow and I need to read a movie script but that can be done here too..?"  
"I'd love for you to stay longer!"  
He leaned down and found her lips, this time staying there longer. She remembered the boys were just outside and pulled back, rubbing her lips together savouring their kiss.  
"Killian...I've been thinking about what you asked me last night...the thing is, it is scary...starting a life with someone again..."

She paused searching for the right words as she hugged her daughter tighter.

"...but the alternative is unbearable. I love you and that scares me and that fear makes me say and do things I shouldn't..."  
Killian stroked her arm, "it's ok Emma, I know. I love you too, and you're right, it's scary. Let's just take this a day at a time."  
"I want to move in with you."  
Killian's eyes widened in surprise.  
"Love, are you sure?"  
"Yes! I'm sorry about how I reacted last night...but I don't want to be apart from you anymo..."  
Before she could finish Killian's lips were crashing against hers, their bodies pushing into each other. She was still holding Kathryn who began pulling on Killian's ear. The couple laughed into their kiss.  
"Ok ok princess, I'll put Mummy down!" Killian chuckled. The infant held out her chubby arms to him. He picked her up and she rubbed her face over his while he laughed, his cheeks covered in her drool.

"I see you kiss like your mother" he teased. Emma punched him in the arm,

"Hey! Not cool!" She tried to keep a serious face but her daughter's adoration of Killian was just too damn cute. "You seem to have quite the effect on the women in this family!"  
He raised an eyebrow and grinned.  
Emma touched his arm, "I think it's time we told our kids about us."  
"I agree!" He said then jumped as his phone started ringing. He switched Kathryn to his other arm and dug in his pocket for it.

"Hello mate!" Killian said happily.  
"You took Emma to the IFTA's?!"  
"Umm...that was 6 weeks ago! You just realised now?!" Killian smiled at his friend's shock. He put the mute button on and said, "Its Robin, I'm going to take this upstairs!"

Emma nodded, took Kathryn from him and watched him run upstairs. She wondered what Killian's cast mates thought of them dating, or if they even knew...

"I thought she quit over email after you kissed her, I distinctly remember you drowning your sorrows at the Rabbit Hole because you'd never see her again..."  
Killian rolled his eyes  
"I went after her"  
"You did what?! Why?!"  
Killian ran his fingers through his hair.  
"Robin...I was a mess without her, she haunted me day and night, I had to find her, to see if she felt the same…we've been seeing each other since the IFTA's, she's my girlfriend..."  
"That escalated quickly! And you didn't think to tell your best mate you had a girlfriend?!"  
Killian sighed, "I knew you'd try and talk me out of it and honestly it was touch and go for a while. But we're fine now; I've asked her to move in with me..."

"Wait, what? God, Killian I leave you for a couple months and you're practically married!"  
Killian chuckled. "Not quite! Ok I tell you what, I'll be back in Vancouver next week and we can catch up? I'll fill you in on everything!"  
"I'll hold you to that!"  
"See you then, mate!"  
Killian ended the call and slipped his phone into his pocket before going back downstairs to Emma.

He saw her singing softly to Kathryn, whose eyes were drooping, trying to fight sleep. He watched her rock her child, she was such a nurturing mother. He loved watching her with the kids, her walls were always down with them and he saw the true Emma. He wondered if one day she'd be that open with him all the time.  
"So love, you were saying we should talk to the boys?" He moved closer to her.  
"Henry! Liam! Can you guys come here a minute? We want to talk to you about something." Emma called.

Regina shut the door loudly making Robin look up from his phone. she rushed towards him, "I need to talk to you about Killian!" She said, voice full of worry.  
"You know too?! Why am I the last to hear everything!"  
"Know what?" She asked, arms folded.  
"About Killian and Emma!"  
"Killian and who?! Actually no..." She held up her hands, "it doesn't matter. Robin I've gotten a lead in Milah's investigation!"  
Robin's jaw dropped and he sat down.  
"W...what sort of lead?" He stumbled over the words.  
Regina sighed and sat beside her husband.  
"An eye witness has come forward!"  
Robin shook his head, "it's been almost 2 years! What are you saying?" She cleared her throat, "I'm saying this witness says she saw her in Seattle...two days ago!"  
Robin's eyes widened, "Milah is alive?!"


	15. Chapter 15

_**The calm, and then the storm!**_

 _ **I'll post the next chapter tomorrow!**_

* * *

She crawled up the bed towards him; her big doe eyes wide and full of lust, watching her bite down on her bottom lip almost put him over the edge. She must know what it does to him! A shy smile graced her lips; no doubt she could feel his arousal pressing against her as she straddled him. He loved the view when she was on top, placing his hands on her hips, his thumb lightly stroking her naval he placed her onto his arousal, sliding into her and filling her. Emma let out a moan which only made him grip her tighter as they found their rhythm, the more he had of Emma the more he wanted.  
"Killian" she breathed as she reached her climax. His name on her lips was all he needed to hear to make him reach his own.

She looked at him; his hair messed up, the longer strands sticking to the sweat on his forehead, his eyes heavy and sated. She loved him like this, she reached down and pressed her forehead against his, their noses touching as they lay there catching their breath.  
"That was..." She started  
"I know!" He smiled coyly.  
Emma laughed, then a shiver ran down her spine as the cool night air reached her skin, Killian pulled her close and reached down to pull the blanket over them. She nuzzled into his neck and gently toyed with his chest hairs as he drew circles on the small of her back. He glanced at the bedside clock, 2am! Next to it on the table was his script, he read it that evening after the kids had gone to bed, it was good, bloody brilliant in fact, just the type of role he could really sink his teeth into, but he wondered if he should run it by Emma first...  
"Love?"  
"Mmmhmm" she replied sleepily.  
He bit his lip, unsure of how to continue. Emma opened her eyes, "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing's wrong, I just was going to talk to you about something...but if you're tired we can talk tomorrow..."  
Emma looked at the clock, the kids would be waking up in about 5 hours...but this wasn't like Killian, something was bothering him. She raised herself up so she was resting on her elbow. "Talk to me", she smiled encouragingly.  
Killian sighed, "It's the script"  
"Did you finish reading it?" Emma asked.  
"Aye, and it's good, it's really good Emma! It's the kind of role actors dream about."  
"Killian, that's amazing!"  
He smiled at her, "Well it's not mine yet, they still want me to audition, but I'm on their shortlist."  
"So what's bothering you?" She knew there was more he wasn't telling her.  
He rolled over on his side to face her, "There's a sex scene in it..."  
Emma paused, unsure of what to say, "And that...bothers you?" She asked.  
Killian scratched behind his ear, "Well no...Not really but...does it bother you?"  
Emma's eyes widened, this was about her!  
He cleared his throat, "I just...I don't want to do something that's going to make you...uncomfortable?"  
Emma smiled, "Killian," she looked him in the eye, "the last thing I want to do is come between you and your career; you say it's a good role?"  
He nodded.

"Then go for it! I trust you! I have faith in our relationship!"  
God, he loved her!  
"I need you to be aware of what this means, you'd be seeing me on screen making love to another woman, I mean I wouldn't really be, obviously, but it would certainty look like it!"  
Emma laughed, "I'm familiar with the concept of acting, Killian!"  
He blushed, "I know love, I'm not trying to be patronising, it's just there will probably be rumours about my co-star and I, we'd have press tours and interviews, we'd have to play to the fans..."  
She leaned in and kissed his forehead. "I appreciate you running it by me, I love that you care about how I'd feel but I think you should do it! This could be massive for your career!"  
She squealed as he threw himself on her, pinning her down by her wrists and covered her face and neck in kisses.  
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Swan, I love you!"  
She smiled, "I love you too! Now...how about some sleep!"

Emma loaded the kids into the car; it was her first time travelling with all three of them by herself. Killian had flown to LA for his audition so she had to move the kids and herself to Vancouver. It had been a long trip but they were finally there! She fastened the last seatbelt in their rental car and jumped in the driver's seat and turned the key. She had butterflies in her stomach, Killian should already be there when they arrive, and his flight from LAX arrived this morning. Emma smiled; she couldn't wait to see him again!

Killian opened the door to his new rental home for this season, their home, not his! Even though he'd lived with Emma that last week at her house before leaving for L.A. he felt like this was their new beginning as an official couple, the thought alone made him smile. He'd missed her these past few days; he missed Liam too, even though he trusted Emma to take care of him! He glanced at his watch, they should be here soon! The doorbell rang; he smiled as he opened it, "Robin! Mate, I wasn't expecting you, how have you been?!" He threw his arms around his friend. Robin hugged him then stepped back wondering how to being. "Um...is Emma here?" He asked awkwardly.  
"Not yet, I thought you were her when I heard the door...why?"  
"Liam?"  
"He's with Emma, Robin what's going on?" Killian sensed something was wrong.  
Robin scratched his head nervously,  
"You should sit down, mate."  
He was beginning to lose patience with his friend, "Robin just tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"Regina received new information about Milah's case...I don't know how to tell you this..."  
Killian put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "Whatever it is I can handle it, I have a life now with Emma, however bad the news is she'll help me through it."  
Robin hesitated, "Killian...Milah is alive!"  
They were interrupted by a gasp and the sound of a thud behind them. They turned to see Emma standing there, she'd dropped the case she was holding on the floor, and she turned on her heel and walked back out the front door.  
"Emma! EMMA! Wait love!" Killian shot his friend an angry look then ran after her. She was getting Liam out, "Emma?"

Killian made it to the car, Emma leaned down and patted Liam on the back, "Go on inside buddy, Robin's in there" the boy ran inside shouting, "Uncle Robin!"  
She handed Liam's case to Killian and marched round to the driver's side.  
"Emma wait!" She stopped and turned round not wanting her kids to know what was going on.  
Too many emotions and questions were flying around Killian's mind right now; he needed a moment to process what was happening.  
"Emma, please don't do this, don't leave! I don't know what's going on but I'll figure it out, I love you, please don't go!"  
Tears stung Emma's eyes, "I can't, and don't you see? If Milah is alive you're still married! Liam's mother is still alive, you're wife! You love her Killian!"  
"I love you!" He argued.  
Emma shook her head, "I'm not going to tear apart a family! You have to let me go!"  
A tear ran down Killian's cheek. He didn't know what to feel, what to think, he just knew that his heart ached.  
"Emma, if you have to leave, that's ok, I understand you wanting some distance but please don't fly home yet. Meet me tomorrow! You can't just walk out of my life again, we need to talk, and I need to find out what's going on?! Please promise me you'll meet me tomorrow"

She stood there; a thousand questions and emotions swirling around inside her like a tropical storm raging. She thought she was driving up to her new home, new life, new future, then suddenly it had all been ripped from her, _he_ had been ripped from her. She couldn't imagine how he must be feeling. As much as it hurt she couldn't just abandon him again.  
She nodded, wiped away a tear, and then got into her car and drove away.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Time for the fall out after the news that Milah could be alive!**_

 ** _I've finished the story now, just some editing so my updates will be much more frequent!_**

 ** _Thank you for your reviews, they really spur me on to finish so keep them coming!_**

* * *

Killian walked back into the house and shut the door.  
"Dad, where's Emma, Henry, and Kathryn!" Liam asked innocently.  
His father sighed, "Um, we have to figure some stuff out before they can move in. You'll see them soon, don't worry. Why don't you go check out your new room?"  
"Ok!" Liam ran upstairs, Killian watched until he was out of sight then turned to Robin, "What the fuck? How could Milah be alive? I buried her! I talked to the bloody coroner!" He said in a hushed whisper.  
Robin swallowed, and held up his hands, "Killian I swear to god I knew nothing about this until Regina came to me a couple weeks ago..."  
"A COUPLE WEEKS AGO?! You didn't think it was important to tell me my wife was alive?! That I'd been lied to this whole time? If I knew I would have waited to ask Emma to move in with me until we got this figured out, how am I supposed to explain this to her?!" Killian finally sat down; the weight of the situation taking its toll on him.  
Robin cleared his throat, "Regina didn't want me saying anything until she had proof. She didn't want to give you false hope."  
"Hope?" Killian said sadly, "When Milah died a part of me died with her! You know what I was like! I loved Milah, more than anything! I would have given anything to bring her back."  
He shook his head in disbelief. "Why didn't she contact me? Why did she leave Liam and me? What proof did Regina find?" With every question he asked, five more popped into his head.  
"Regina is going to come straight here and tell you everything she knows." Robin assured him, "Look Killian, it's fucked up, really fucked up, and the timing couldn't be worse for you. I'm so sorry! We're here for you no matter what! What are you going to tell Liam?"  
"Nothing yet!" Killian couldn't even imagine what that conversation would be like!

Regina arrived a few moments later with another officer.  
"Regina." Killian said, he felt numb.  
"Killian, I'm sorry but I'm here on official business, I need to ask you some questions."  
"What about my questions, Regina? Are you going to answer those?" Regina winced at the coldness of his tone.  
"Killian I know this is hard, but it is an ongoing investigation, I'll answer what I can." She said softly.  
"Ok, how about...let's see...shall we start with who did I bury? Whose grave have I been going to and pouring my heart out to?"  
Regina took a deep breath. "That's part of the reason why I'm here; I need to ask you if we can exhume the body." Killian shook his head in disbelief, this whole situation was unreal, "How sure are you that she is in Seattle?" He asked, starting to feel sick at the thought of digging up her grave.  
"We have eye witness sightings, and we found a motel room booked in her name, paid in cash, with her DNA inside."  
Killian ran his hand through his hair in exasperation, he thought for a moment, fighting an internal battle about what he should do. Finally he sat up, "Do it!"  
"Are you sure?" Robin asked his friend.  
Killian nodded determinedly, "I need to know!" He explained.  
Regina looked at Killian sympathetically, "Ok, I'll give the order and let you know what I find!"  
She placed her hand on her friends shoulder, "I'm so sorry Killian; we'll figure this out, I promise!"

Emma sat out on her hotel balcony; glass of soda water in hand, looking at the pier. She thought about the date they had there, if you could call it a date, they were technically just friends back then. Their relationship escalated so quickly and now it was potentially over. That thought left a bitter taste in her mouth; she looked down at a magazine she picked up in the hotel lobby, Killian was front and centre! It contained a slanderous story about Killian knowing his wife was alive all along but playing the sympathy card for popularity. It also claimed he was sleeping with his nanny while Milah was forced to live in another city. Emma shook her head angrily then read the name of the reporter, Gold again! What was his issue with Killian? She took a deep breath and sipped her drink, she wish she knew what was going on. How could Milah be alive and Killian not know? Why would she fake her death? Why would she leave Killian and Liam? She had so many questions; she could imagine what Killian must be feeling. Emma wondered what she'd do if she found out Neal was alive...she struggled to get her head around the thought. She'd loved him deeply, and missed him terribly, but she had found a way to move on with Killian, she loved him in a way she'd never loved before. And now they had this, she looked at the plastic stick that lay on the balcony table, any other day she would have been thrilled by those two pink lines displayed but today they taunted her, complicating an already complicated situation. Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing. Killian's name flashed on the screen, he'd called a few times but she couldn't talk to him about this in front of the kids, she thought about calling him back when they fell asleep but she didn't know what to say...  
She picked up her phone.  
"Killian...are you ok?"  
"Not really love, I...I'm so sorry you're caught up in this..."  
"You couldn't have known this would happen. Is...is it true, is she...?"  
"Alive? I don't know, they are digging her up tomorrow." Killian's voice was shaky.  
"God, I'm so sorry Killian, that's awful!"  
Silence. Emma could hear his breathing, she knew he was crying.

"Killian...what can I do?"  
She heard a sniffle then he cleared his throat.  
"I've no right to ask anything of you right now but...I...I just need someone to talk to...if I get Ashley to watch Liam can I come see you?"  
Emma paused and thought about it, the pain in his voice broke her heart, she was hurting too, she had no idea what this would mean for them, if she was losing him, what he'd think of her current condition. Maybe him coming round was a bad idea...but back before they were a couple they were a support system and she didn't feel she could turn her back on that.  
"You can come over; I'm at Granny's, room 26."  
"Emma..."  
"Yes?"  
"Thank you..."  
She hung up.

A few minutes later there was a knock at her door. _"That was quick?"_ She thought, she opened it expecting to see Killian, instead there was a sinister looking man in a trench coat standing there smiling wickedly, he grabbed her, covering her nose and mouth with a damp cloth, she tried to fight back but her limbs quickly became heavy and she only managed to knock over the small table by the door, within seconds everything went black.

For the first time since he heard the news Killian felt some sort of relief. Emma agreed to see him! She was his anchor, she'd helped him deal with Milah's death and now she selflessly agreed to help him through this, whatever this was! He still didn't know if Milah was alive or not, but he knew his love for Emma was real, she was his future, nothing could change that!

He made his way up the stairs at Granny's his pace slowed as he reached her room and saw the door was lying open, he frowned and stepped inside, he saw the overturned table and lamp on the floor, "Emma?" He called tentatively. He looked at the beds, the kids were fast asleep, and he checked the bathroom, no sign of Emma. Something was wrong. He pulled out his phone and called Regina,  
"Killian?" She answered.  
"Regina, I need you to come to Granny's straight away, Emma's in trouble..."  
He stopped, slowly dropping the phone from his hand,  
"Killian? Killian are you there?"  
He couldn't hear the muffled sound of Regina calling out to him down the phone, he just stood there frozen, staring at the pregnancy test on the balcony table.


	17. Chapter 17

The first thing Emma was aware of was the sharp throbbing headache pulsating through her skull. She groaned and slowly opened her eyes. The room gradually came into focus; it looked like a motel room, where the hell was she? The door handle began to turn and she instantly recognised the man who entered as the one who was just at her hotel room. Everything came flooding back.  
"I see you're awake, Mrs. Nolan" his voice was calm, low, and sinister.  
"Where are my children?!" Fear formed a pit in her stomach, last she knew they were sleeping soundly. The thought of them being in danger made her feel physically sick.  
"They're right where you left them, I didn't have time or means to take you all."  
Relief washed over her, Killian was on his way to see her! She desperately hoped they'd be safe until he found them. She knew he'd protect them and call the police.  
"Who are you? What do you want with me?"  
"My name is Gold, and as for my intentions, all in due time, Emma!"

-  
(10 hours earlier)

Killian stared at the test. Two lines...did that mean she was or wasn't pregnant? He tried to remember from when Milah was expecting, he hurried to the bathroom, glancing at Henry and Kathryn again to check they were still sleeping. Once in the room he turned on the light, squinting as his eyes got used to the brightness, he turned the waste paper basket upside down, spilling its contents over the tiled floor. He found the box the test came in and quickly read the instructions. The box dropped to the floor; he had his answer, Emma was pregnant! He ran his fingers through his hair trying to process the scene he'd walked in on. Where was Emma?  
"Killian? What's going on?" Regina was standing in the bathroom doorway. "Where's Emma?"  
Killian sat there stunned, unable to speak. It was too much; Milah, then Emma, and now finding out Emma was expecting...they were expecting. Regina looked from the toppled furniture to the pregnancy test box, and back at Killian.  
"Killian, did you and Emma have a fight?"  
That got his attention. His head snapped up to look at her.  
"No, no of course not! I just got here and found the furniture knocked over, the kids sleeping, and a pregnancy test on the balcony table!"  
"Why were you here?" Regina didn't like having to ask these questions but she had to figure out what was going on before she could help her friend.  
Killian sighed, "I called her, asked if I could come see her"  
Regina looked unsure, "with everything going on with Milah?"  
Killian stood up, frustration building, "That's exactly why! She's my girlfriend, why wouldn't I turn to her, my anchor, when my life is suddenly this shit storm?!"  
Regina nodded, and then asked.  
"Did you know she thought she might be pregnant?" She nodded towards the empty box on the floor.  
Killian dropped his head sadly, "no, I had no I idea"  
He shook his head angrily, growing determined, "Regina, you need to help me find her, she could be in trouble! I can't lose her too!"  
Regina held her hand out, Killian took it and she helped him up.  
"I'm going to do everything I can to help Emma. The state the room is in suggests she was taken by force, can you think of anyone who would want to hurt her?"  
Killian sighed, scratching his head. "No...I can't think of anyone! The only people she knows here are us, she literally just moved her family over today!"

"Could someone have taken her to get at you?"

"Who?"

"I don't know Killian! I'm just trying to figure out what's going on! I'll call the station and have a forensic team sent here to look for anything that could help us figure out who did this."

Regina went out on the balcony to make her call. Killian walked back into the bedroom, he looked at the kids then something caught his attention, he leaned down to look at Henry, his eyes were tightly squeezed shut and his breathing heavy.  
"Henry? Lad, are you awake?" Killian whispered.  
Henry shook his head, keeping his eyes tightly shut.  
Killian sat on the bed beside him.  
"Henry it's ok, you're safe. How long have you been pretending to be asleep?"  
Henry opened one eye to look at Killian.  
"I didn't want the man to take me!"  
Killian's eyes widened.

"No one is going to take you, I'm here now and I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you or your sister! There is a police officer here, I need you to tell her everything you saw, can you do that buddy?"  
Henry nodded.

Gold had been busying himself packing up his bags. Emma watched him frantically trying to figure out what was going on.

"What are you going to do to me?"  
She asked him, her voice shaking more than she wanted it to!

"You'll find out soon enough!" He grunted.

Emma looked around the room and then she saw it, poking out from his open briefcase lying on the floor. A photograph of someone she recognised, she squinted to make sure.  
"How do you know Milah?"

Gold froze.  
"Very clever Ms Nolan...this is about Milah."

"Is she alive?"

Gold walked over to Emma, picked her up and dragged her into the motel bathroom. He pushed her into the bathtub; hands and feet still bound.

"Don't worry, you'll meet her soon enough! I'm sure you'll both have lots to discuss! But for now that's enough chat from you!"

He pulled out some duct tape, ripped a piece off and stuck it over her mouth. Emma struggled against her restraint with muffled screams. Gold chuckled. "That's better!"

He reached over and turned on the cold water tap then put the plug in the plug hole. Emma's eyes widened, the icy cold water sent a shock right through her body. Realisation set in, Gold was going to let her drown!

He sat causally on the edge of the tub with a wicked look on his face.

"And now, Emma, would you like to know why you have to die? Milah was my fiancé...that is until she met him! He took her away from me, ruined my life! Then everything just kept going right for him, he married her, his acting career kicked off, they had a child! I changed my name and moved to Vancouver to be close to her, used my journalism degree to have my own tabloid and it didn't matter how many stories I made up about them, nothing pulled them apart!"

Emma watched the water level slowly creep up. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was going to die, her children orphaned just because this bastard was jealous! Her head was spinning trying to think of a way to escape, to fight back but nothing was coming to her. Her body began to shake in reaction to the ice cold water slowly surrounding her. She tried to push herself above the edge of the bath with her feet but the old style stand alone bath was too deep. Gold wasn't even paying attention to her, he continued his rant.

"...Milah found out I was there, she confronted me and threatened to call the police, I had to do something. She walked home, determined to tell Killian so I got in my car and I ran her down. I didn't have my Milah but at least Killian didn't have her either, I found comfort in his pain...that is until he met you! So Ms Nolan, I'm afraid you're a victim of your circumstances, nothing personal! I just can't let him be happy, you understand?"

The water was up to her shoulders now. Gold stood up and left the room.  
Emma's heart was pounding, tears streamed from her eyes as the water level rose. She couldn't believe this was it, she sobbed for her children, for Killian, their future, and the child she was carrying. She prayed they'd be ok.

The water came up to her nose, she held her breath as long as she could, then she exhaled, followed by cold water burning her nose and lungs. She felt her body relax as slowly everything went dark. Was that voices she heard? They sounded so distant yet so close.

"Emma! Emma!"


	18. Chapter 18

**_Hey guys, a lot to get through this chapter so it's a little longer than the last ones._**

 ** _Thank you for all your reviews, you're too sweet and I love hearing from you!_**

 ** _Let me know what you think of this one!_**

* * *

"Dad?"

Killian opened his eyes to see Liam standing in front of him, his hair adorably messy from sleep. Killian blinked a few times, feeling disoriented, where was he?"

"Dad, why is Henry sleeping in my room? I thought they couldn't move in yet?"

Killian jumped up from the couch, too quickly, he felt dizzy so quickly sat back down. He must have fallen asleep! Regina had made him take Emma's kids home after Henry gave his description which perfectly matched Mr Gold! Killian wanted to kill the man! Regina made him leave and let her continue her investigation. He knew she was right, that Emma would want her kids to be his priority. He pulled Liam into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"Dad, where's Emma?"

He realised he hasn't answered any of Liam's questions.

"Emma had to go do something so I told her Henry and Kathryn could stay with us until she gets back.

Liam nodded enthusiastically, "Yey!"

"But buddy, Henry had a late night last night so you're going to need to let him sleep. I'm sure he'll play with you once he gets up. How about some breakfast while you wait?"

"Ok dad!"

Killian made his way into the kitchen and pulled out some pans to make eggs and bacon. The events of last night were spinning around in his mind. Gold took Emma. Why would he do that? He'd never liked Killian, though he had no idea what he'd done to infuriate the man. But going from writing slanderous comments in a trashy tabloid to kidnapping his girlfriend was a pretty intense escalation, what was Killian missing? Was this somehow connected to Milah and her sudden miraculous appearance? His head began to ache with all his unanswered questions. Thankfully Liam was engrossed in watching cartoons on the kitchen tv, he wasn't sure he'd be able to answer anymore of his questions, though no doubt Henry would fill him in...he'd have to tackle that when it happened. He handed Liam his breakfast and smiled as he watched his son engulf his food. If Emma was here she'd be laughing and telling him to slow down. Suddenly Killian felt tears filling his eyes, he quickly turned and left the room, the shock of Emma being gone was finally wearing off, leaving the heartache, fear, and loneliness room to pour into his soul. The thought of losing her crippled him, knowing that she was alone and scared, possibly hurt...he winced at that thought. 'God, please let her be ok!' He silently prayed to any deity who may be listening.

He finally composed himself enough to go back into the kitchen and join Liam. As he was tidying up breakfast and waiting for any news from Regina the thought occurred to him that Emma's family didn't know. He grabbed his phone and called David.

As suspected David and Mary Margaret booked the next flight over. He was relieved Henry and Kathryn would have some of their family here. He was just on his way to prepare the guest room, trying to find any possible task to distract himself from all the waiting, when his phone rang. Regina's name flashed on the screen, he walked outside, not wanting any of the kids to overhear, and answered.

"Regina!"

"Hey Killian..."

Her voice was hesitant which terrified him!

"...we're exhuming Milah's body soon...did you want to be here?" She asked as softly as she could.

He closed his eyes. He did want to be there...he wanted to know for sure if Milah was alive or not. But at the same time if she was there he didn't want to see her body, over a year after she died, he wanted to remember her how she was, beautiful, vibrant, and loving. He trusted Regina.

"What exactly is going to happen?"

"Well we'll bring up her coffin and open it, and then we'll take DNA samples to be sure."

Killian clenched his jaw.

"Go ahead without me...but Regina; tell me as soon as you know!"

"Of course!"

"Any news on Emma?"

"We didn't get any hits on Gold's credit card but we have CCTV footage of him getting on a bus to Seattle we've alerted the local police and they've passed his photo around and are going door to door round different motels and checking CCTV in the area."

"That sounds like it's going to take a long time..."

"I'm sorry Killian, its high priority for them, they know she is pregnant."

"Again, any news...let me know"

"You'll be my first call!"

-  
(An hour later)

Killian was trying to keep Henry distracted, he knew he hadn't told Liam yet, Killian couldn't imagine what the lad was going through seeing his mother taken like that. So Killian had taken them outside and pitched tents, set up a fire and they played camping. Kathryn was desperate to walk so Killian spent most of his time holding her hands so she could toddle along shakily after her brother and Liam. She eventually only needed to hold on with one hand.

"Don't you dare start walking until your mummy comes home! She'd hate to miss it!" he told the toddler.

Pain shot through Killian's heart thinking about Emma missing out on this. He was interrupted by his phone ringing again. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out.

"Regina! You have news?"

"They found her!"

"...Emma?"

"Killian, it's not great, she almost drowned, and the first responders had to give her CPR. She is stable but unresponsive."

"What hospital?"

"UW Medical Center"

"I'll be there tonight! As soon as Emma's family arrives I'll leave."

"Ok, I'm heading down now, I'll meet you there."

5 hours later Killian was driving to Seattle. David and Mary Margaret had agreed to stay with the kids. Killian decided not to tell them about Emma's pregnancy. He assumed Emma would have wanted to be the one to tell them...and also, he wasn't sure what Emma's near drowning and current comatose state meant for the baby...a pit formed in his stomach every time he thought about it. Fear flowed through his body, he couldn't remember the last time he ate; he was powered on pure adrenaline. He had to get to Emma!

He finally made it to the hospital. Killian knew visiting hours would be over but Regina had sent him a text telling him she would let him in. He ran down the hospital corridors following the signs to the ward Regina had told him she was in. 'Please be ok, please be ok, please be ok' the words were on constant loop in his mind as he ran. Eventually he bumped into Regina at the ward entrance.

"Killian! She's in here."

"Can I see her?" His voice broke.

Regina nodded.

He froze when his eyes fell on her lifeless form; her eyes were closed, like she was in a peaceful sleep. Her face looked slightly grey, bruises and cuts decorated her arms, from the struggle in the hotel he imagined. There were marks on her wrists indicating she had been restrained. A lump formed in his throat and tears began to escape his eyes. He pulled a chair up next to her and took her hand, kissing it and rubbing her knuckles.

"Oh Emma, I'm so sorry, I should have gotten there sooner, I'm so so sorry. I love you, please come back to me!"

Regina's heart broke listening to her friend beg, she walked over and gently laid her hand on his shoulder.

"I'll leave you two alone for a moment, I'll get us some food and coffee and then I'll fill you in on what I know."

Killian nodded but refused to take his eyes off Emma.

30 minutes later Regina returned with soup, sandwiches, bottles of water, and coffee. She sat next to Killian who turned to look at her.

"I know you will want to stay with her tonight...they don't usually allow that but I've pulled some strings. Now...if you want to stay you have to promise me you'll eat something!

Killian eyed the food then looked at Emma, he didn't have much of an appetite but he would do anything to stay with her.

"Aye, I'll eat"

Regina handed him a sandwich, which he obediently took and began to nibble. She nodded, satisfied.

"Did you find Gold?" He asked between bites.

"Not yet, but everyone is looking for him."

"How did they find her?"

"We got lucky Killian, really lucky! Police were routinely checking motels and one receptionist recognised the photo of Gold, they broke into his room and Emma was drowning in the bath. A moment later and..."

Killian winced, and then clenched his fists.

"He tried to drown her in a bath?! I'll kill the bastard!"

"No you won't, because then you'll go to jail. You will focus on Emma! Look at me Killian!"

He looked up at his friend; her eyes were dark and serious. He could see how she'd be good at her job, those eyes could easily make a culprit break down and confess.

"Killian, promise me you won't try and interfere. Emma needs you, your children need you! You understand?!"

He sighed; he knew she was right, even though he hated that man with every fibre in his body.

"I promise, just...promise me you'll find him and make him pay!"

"Oh I intend to!"

She shuffled in her seat, trying to find the right words for what she had to say next,

"Killian...I heard back from the lab when I was out getting our dinner...it was Milah in the coffin...it's confirmed. It appears Gold spread the rumours and planted the DNA. I'm so sorry..."

Killian felt like he'd been punched in the gut. They'd dug her up for nothing. He felt riddled with guilt; guilt they'd disturbed her body, but also guilt that he felt relieved.

"Hopefully now she can rest in peace." He said with a quiet voice.

Regina's words sunk in and his head snapped up.

"Wait? Gold did this? Where the bloody hell did Gold get her DNA?!"

Regina shrugged, "I've no idea? It was samples of her hair."

Killian furrowed his brow, it didn't make sense!

"Is there any way Milah knew Gold?" Regina asked.

"No...I mean I don't see how? Not that I knew of anyway!"

Regina sighed, "The sooner we find Gold the sooner we can get some answers!"


	19. Chapter 19

Gold sat at the airport nervously watching the departure board, the flashing words mocking him; "flight delayed" his jaw clenched. 'Keep it together Gold' he told himself, 'they have no connection between you and Emma...just stay calm'.

Unknown to him they did have a connection, a little boy who should have been asleep. Police entered the departure gate and his body tensed, just a coincidence surely! He slowly got up and walked towards the book store, just to create some distance. He walked down the aisles of novels trying to look as natural as possible; he noticed his own tabloid on the shelf. His eyes lingered on Killian's face, a smug grin crossed his lips. 'Bastard finally got what he deserved' he thought to himself, just then two sets of firm hands gripped his arms, his head spun around to see the police officers.

"Richard Gold you're under arrest for the kidnapping and attempted murder of Emma Nolan."

"Attempted?!" Gold squealed. As they led him out the airport.

Killian opened his eyes, squinting at the sunlight shining through the hospital blinds. He'd crawled onto Emma's bed and spent the night holding her, her temperature always dropped while she slept, he knew she loved cuddling into him and soaking up his body heat. It was something he could give her, something that made him feel a little less helpless. He watched her sleeping peacefully and reached down to comb his fingers through her hair then leaned in to kiss her forehead.

Just then the doctor walked in and cleared his throat; "good morning" he eyed Killian realising he'd stayed all night but thought best not to comment, "let's see how the patient is today!"

Killian watched as he checked her vitals and took notes.

"Is...Is she going to be ok?"

"She is stable, we're just waiting for her to wake up, her body has gone through a terrible trauma but I'm happy with her recovery so far."

Killian swallowed, 'Ok so far that sounds positive' he thought. He took a deep breath and asked,

"And...the baby?"

The doctor looked up; he didn't know if Killian knew about the pregnancy so he hadn't mentioned it before.

"Well she hasn't miscarried...yet."

Killian closed his eyes whispering a silent prayer.

"So...so...there is a chance she still could?"

"The baby is most vulnerable during the first trimester, we will know more once she has her 8 week scan, and then we'll have a better understanding of if the baby has been affected by this."

Killian's hand lay on Emma's abdomen, gently stroking it with his thumb.

"How far along is she?" He asked in a small voice.

"6 weeks"

The night Emma came to visit him in Dublin...he'd taken her out for dinner in a local pub he used to play at with his old band. They were all there and ended up doing an impromptu gig, even pulling Emma up on stage at one point. They were all jolly after a few too many drinks. He remembered getting a taxi home and scooping Emma up in his arms carrying her into the house bridal style, almost dropping her into a bush, sending them into a fit of giggles, as he stumbled up the steps to the front door. They didn't make it to the bedroom; they were too giddy, when he slowly dropped her so she was standing again in front of him she looked up at him with her big green eyes through her long eyelashes. That look destroyed him, he was putty in her hands and the two of them were too consumed with want for each other to remember the protection that sat in his bedside drawer.

Killian wondered what Emma's reaction to being pregnant had been; if she was happy, or not. Their relationship was still relatively new but they'd committed to moving in together, blending their families, this child would make the bond even stronger. He wondered if she was scared about his reaction. She'd already given birth alone when she had Kathryn; maybe she was scared Killian would leave her. He hoped not, there was no way in hell he was going anywhere.

It dawned on him he'd never had moment to think about the news they were pregnant. With everything going on with Milah and Emma missing, it'd been pushed to the back of his mind, something to process later when his world wasn't upside down! But now he was here, Emma was safe...kind of, and now he had the news that his child was at risk. The wave of worry washing over him, desperation at the thought of them losing him or her gave him his answer. He wanted this baby, he loved this baby, and he would do anything to protect this baby.

He'd been so deep in thought he'd barely noticed the doctor continuing his checks on Emma; realising he was still there he asked.

"When will she wake up?"

The doctor looked sympathetically,

"There is no way to know for sure, it could be in the next 5 minutes or in a few months...we're hoping not the latter...the baby will have a better chance if she wakes up sooner rather than later."

"What can I do?" Killian felt so helpless.

"Talk to her, hold her hand, let her hear you and feel you and you never know..."

Regina came by that evening with more food. She knew Killian only ate when she brought it, the stubborn arse wouldn't leave Emma's side.

"I brought you a change of clothes and stuff so you can have a shower."

Killian looked up, "how did you get my clothes?"

"I brought them!" A familiar voice said and Robin walked into the room. He hugged his friend, "I'm so sorry mate!"

"Thanks, I'm glad you're here!"

Regina cut in, "right, we'll stay here with Emma, you get a shower and then we'll all have dinner here, I've arranged a roll away bed to be brought in for you tonight."

He nodded obediently and wandered into the en suite.

He returned to the room showered and dressed; the welcome aroma of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup filling his nostrils. He sat beside Emma's bed, facing Robin and Regina and tucked in. After she saw he'd eaten most of his food Regina said,

"They found Gold"

Killian almost spat out the water he was drinking, "what? Where?!"

"Trying to board a plane to Fiji." She replied matter of factly.

Killian shook his head, "that bastard! What did he say? Why did he try to kill Emma?"

"Turns out he and Milah used to be an item before she met you..."

Killian's jaw dropped to the floor, "Milah knew Gold? All those times he wrote lies about us, when I couldn't figure out why he was so hell bent on trying to ruin my career, she never told me!"

"Don't take it personally, I imagine he threatened her, probably said he'd hurt you or Liam if she did. He stalked her, followed her over to Vancouver where he started his tabloid."

Killian couldn't believe it. Well it certainly explained a few things...

Regina hesitated then added, "I got word from the lab, it was Milah's DNA, she is there...it's her in the...well you know..."

Killian looked to the floor, it would take a while before he would forgive himself for disturbing her peace, for thinking she could abandon him and Liam...

"Thank you. I hope she can rest in peace now...did Gold pretend she was alive...to mess with me?"

"It looks that way...he saw you moving on, starting a new life with Emma, he wanted to take your happiness away, and the way he thinks you took his."

This was his fault, Emma and their child were fighting for their lives because of him, because some sociopath blamed him for stealing his woman. His eyes darkened and jaw clenched.

Regina noticed his change in body language, as did Robin.

"Mate" he said reaching over and laying his hand on Killian's shoulder, "this is not your fault! You had no idea; this was Gold, all Gold! He'll be held accountable for his actions."

Killian stood up and began to pace the room with his fists clenched, finally stopping at Emma, his gaze fixing on her face. He slumped down beside her and released a deep breath. Hanging his head he whispered. "That monster preyed on the two women I loved and I couldn't protect them, I couldn't even recognise the threat."

Regina walked over and sat down beside him, resting her hand on his arm, she spoke softly to him.

"Milah was one of my best friends and I didn't have a clue! It's my job to protect people, believe me, I know how you feel. I keep thinking if I had paid more attention maybe I would have noticed something was off. She chose to keep it from us for whatever reason. I'm choosing to believe it was to protect us, because she loved us."

A tear ran down Killian's cheek as she went on.

"I will make sure that Gold pays for this, for everything. I owe that to Milah...I owe that to you!"

Killian put his hand over her's, "I know you will, love. I appreciate everything you've done so far."

Regina gave him a hug then announced, "Well we'll leave you with Emma and check in tomorrow."

Robin joined them, he hugged his friend and patted his back, "hang in there mate, she'll pull through! If you need anything you know where we are!"

"Thanks" was all he could manage at the moment. He watched his friends leave. He remembered the doctor's advice and decided to find a book to read to Emma, he walked down the corridor to see what he could find. He came across a playroom with a bookshelf in the corner. He scanned the titles then stopped when he saw the perfect choice. He smiled, 'you'll do nicely' he thought.

Back in the room he noticed the roll away bed had been put there for him, he pushed it right up against Emma's bed and climbed in next to her.

"Ok Princess, I've found the perfect fairy tale for you."

He opened the book and began.

"Once upon a time..."

He read enthusiastically to her, as if he was reading to Liam, after all Emma was renowned for her storytelling so he figured he should make an effort for her. He knew fairy tales were her weakness. He neared the end of the fable,

"...the Prince ran up the stairs to the top of the tower and saw the Princess laying on the bed in a deep sleep. The Prince knew the only way to break the sleeping curse was true loves kiss; he loved the Princess with all his heart so he leaned over and kissed her. Her eyes immediately opened, the curse was broken! The whole kingdom awoke from their curse and rejoiced! The Prince and Princess lived happily ever after."

He closed the book and looked over at his own sleeping beauty.

"Was that alright for you, darling? I can see why you like fairy tales...they're full of hope, I could certainly use a bit of that at the moment" he said to his sleeping girlfriend.

"I'm about ready to try anything..."

He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers softly. Then pulling away he watched her face...nothing! 'Figures!' He thought. He lifted his blanket over him, curled up beside her and took her hand in his. He was just drifting off to sleep when he thought he felt something, the tiniest squeeze of his hand, did he imagine it? He held his breath listening for any indication that anything changed, willing her fingers to squeeze his. Just when he was about to close his eyes again, accepting it as his mind playing tricks on him, he heard it...the sweetest sound he'd ever heard...

"Killian?"


	20. Chapter 20

She could just barely make it out, the muffled voice...something about a princess and a dragon...a sleeping curse...was that Killian? Her head felt so heavy and her mind hazy, like she was walking through a thick fog. But there was that voice...yes, it was Killian! 'And the Prince and the Princess lived happily ever after' was he reading her a fairy tale? She wanted to say his name but the words didn't come. Suddenly she felt a bolt of energy through her body, something soft was against her lips...his lips, and he kissed her! The fog began to clear; she could hear other sounds, the hum of machines, the rustling of sheets, his breathing. She felt his fingers slide into her hand, she squeezed with all her might but she couldn't tell if her fingers moved or not, the fog was all but gone, her eyes slowly opened, gaining focus on her surroundings, was she in hospital? Oh my god, the baby! She had to tell Killian, she willed her lips to move, his name the only word she could focus on, like the very air she breathed it escaped out "Killian".

He definitely didn't imagine that! He quickly sat up and leaned over her, her eyes were open wide; they danced over his face, then resting on his own crystal blue eyes swirling with concern, anticipation, and hope.

"Emma? Can you hear me, love?"

Her lips slightly curled up, "Killian", she said again.

"Emma! I've been so worried about you, I love you so much!" He wanted to pull her into his arms but he needed to know she was ok, that this was her making a full recovery. "I need to get the doctor!"

She squeezed his hand, this time a little harder, he turned back to face her.

"We...we're...baby" was all she could manage, she wanted to be the one to tell him.

Tears filled his eyes and he smiled,  
"I know love, I saw the pregnancy test in your hotel room, I couldn't be happier! The baby is ok"

Relief swept over her face.

"Emma, I need to get the doctor!" He kissed her hand and pushed the button to alert the nurse, Emma tried to talk, she needed to tell him about Gold and Milah but he stopped her, "whatever it is love, it can wait, just rest darling, someone will be here soon!" He held her hand, stroking it with his thumb

The doctor came to see Emma and was happy with her progress; she needed to stay in hospital for a few more days so they could monitor her and the baby. Killian had called the show producers and arranged to start work a few days later. Mary Margaret and David agreed to stay for a month and help out while Emma got back on her feet. He hadn't told them about the baby, he figured Emma would want to be the one to tell them the news.

She watched him make his phone calls, turning to her for a moment to flash a charming smile and wink. She was touched by him changing his life around to accommodate her without second thought. Once he hung up, he pulled a chair up to her bed and sat beside her; he picked up her hand and intertwined their fingers, staring into her emerald green eyes.

"Are you ok?" She asked him

"Yeah, why?"

"Just if you look at me any harder you'll bore a hole through my head!"

"Sorry, love...I...just thought, well when you were missing I didn't know what to think. I've never been so scared..."

She could see it herself, his face looked weary and thinner, his hair dishevelled and his beard thicker than usual. All signs he'd not been eating or sleeping well. She squeezed his hand.

"It's ok, we're together now, and everything's going to be ok!" She lifted his hand and kissed it, then remembered what she had to tell him.

"Killian! I need to talk with Regina! It's about Gold..."

"It's ok, love, they found him, he's been convicted of kidnapping and attempted murder."

"Killian, that's not all!"

His brows furrowed in confusion, she took a deep breath.

"Killian, he told me he killed Milah!"

Killian's hand slipped out of hers.

"H...how?"

She swallowed and continued, "He killed her, he was the one driving the car."

Killian stood up, fists clenched.

"No, no, no..." He paced then stopped and shouted as he punched the wall as hard as he could then rested his forehead against it and started to cry.

Emma jumped out of bed and walked over to him, laying her hand on his arm, and eyeing the blood dripping from his knuckles, she said "I'm so sorry" and wrapped her arms around his waist hugging his back.

Emma looked out the window taking in the picturesque surroundings on the drive back home to Vancouver. In the same way the water calmed Killian, the mountains calmed her. She could use all the calm she could get at the moment. So much had happened to her the past week she didn't know how to even begin to process it! She told Regina about Gold and his court date was set, Emma would have to testify but she wanted to, she needed to do whatever she could to help Milah rest in peace, she didn't know the woman but she loved her son, Emma felt like she owed it to her as much as she owed it to Killian and Liam. Having to live through Gold's kidnapping would be painful though, she'd been tossing an idea around in her head for the past few days but was a little nervous about mentioning it to Killian, unsure of what he'd think...she'd spent the majority of the car ride psyching herself up to say it, now was the time.

"Babe?"

"Mmhmm" he replied, watching the road ahead.

"I think I would like to see a therapist..." She bit her lip, unable to look at him, waiting for his reaction.

His eyes searched her face, she looked nervous. After all she'd been through he could understand her wanting to talk to someone...he had hoped it would be him...but maybe a professional would be better. "If that's what you want, darling, I could book you an appointment with my therapist, Dr Hopper, unless you had a specific one in mind of course! Whatever you need, it's yours."

"You have a therapist? I had no idea!"

His lip turned up in a half smile. "I started seeing him after Milah died, I stopped once I met you..." He confessed.

Emma finally looked up at him, surprised by his revelation. "I...I didn't know that...that I..." She didn't know what to say, she knew that he helped her move on and hoped that she'd done the same for him. Emma hadn't realised just how much she had helped him until now.

He took his eyes off the road for a moment to look back at her; did she really not know how much she changed his life for the better? He looked back to the road and said "after Milah died I didn't know how to function, I didn't know how to raise Liam on my own, I was scared, hurt, and grieving. Regina suggested I see Dr Hopper..."

"Did it help?"

"Yeah it did actually, I felt better talking about it but I was still far from the man I used to be, I forgot how to laugh or enjoy myself, I tried to overcompensate with Liam and I was exhausted. Robin tried to talk me into dating again but I just wasn't feeling it. Dr Hopper suggested talking to someone who had gone through something similar and gave me information on local support groups but being in my position I just didn't feel comfortable talking about something so personal with strangers. Then I met you that night on set; I saw it in your eyes, the hurt and the pain. It was like looking in a mirror, I saw myself in those eyes! I promise you, Emma, I was just looking for a friend, I never imagined falling in love with you. Honestly...I knew I shouldn't have kissed you that night before you left, I'd wanted to kiss you for weeks but held back because I didn't know how you felt, but that kiss Emma! That kiss awoke something in me, hope for a future, hope that I could love again, and hope that Liam and I could have a family. That's truly the greatest gift you could have given me...hope! I was reborn the day I met you Swan!"

Emma didn't even try to hold back the tears, she knew he loved her but she had no idea she'd made such an impact.

"You helped me too, you know!" She whispered. "I'd been going through the motions since Neal died, trying my hardest to pretend I was fine for the kid's sake, but I was numb inside. I didn't want to come here, Mary Margaret dragged me and I had no fight in me to protest. You were the first person since the accident to treat me like I was normal, like I didn't have a huge neon sign above my head saying 'widow'. Talking to you helped me move on...but I'm struggling to get my head around what's happened now, my children were in danger Killian! He tried to kill me...I just need help processing it, my body may be healed but I need my mind to be healthy too...for the sake of our baby, I know it's still at risk and I need to give it its best chance!"

Killian nodded and placed his hand on her knee, "thank you for being honest with me, we'll get an appointment set up for you. To be honest I could probably use some therapy after everything that's happened too!"

Emma laid her hand on his and closed her eyes for the rest of the drive.

6 weeks later they were at Mount St Joseph's Hospital in Vancouver for their 12 week scan.

"Your baby is doing great!" The midwife exclaimed, "Developing exactly how we would expect, in a few more weeks we can tell you the gender!"

Emma looked up at Killian, who was staring at the ultrasound footage, his eyes filling with tears. She squeezed his hand, "I think I'd like it to be a surprise!"

"He nodded and smiled, "as you wish, love! I'm just thrilled it's healthy!"

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" The midwife asked.

"Yes!" They both said at once.

They held hands as relief washed over them hearing their little one's heartbeat loud and strong.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Hey guys, thanks for the comments, I love reading what you think. Here is the penultimate chapter.**_

 _ **I'm feeling generous so going to post the last chapter along with this!**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

* * *

The months leading up to the birth were happily uneventful; Killian worked long hours filming the show's 6th season, Emma waddled around after the three kids, who thankfully were on their best behaviour after Killian had a chat with the boys about how they needed to help look after Emma and the baby. Both boys took the responsibility very seriously, helping the only ways they knew how, by offering favourite toys to Emma's growing baby bump, reading it stories, and even sharing their snacks. Despite their eagerness to assist Killian did ask if he could hire a new nappy just to help out, and Emma reluctantly agreed. Her name was Johanna, a kind older woman with a soothing British accent and no nonsense demeanour that Emma particularly liked. It was good for Emma to have some adult company since Mary Margaret and David did eventually have to go home due to work commitments.

They celebrated their first Christmas together, Killian had to spend a week of his Christmas break in LA doing screen tests for his upcoming movie but he was home in time for Christmas Eve and they spent the holiday's switched off from the outside world playing in the snow, drinking hot cocoa, and watching cheesy Christmas movies. It was perfect. Robin, Regina, and Roland came by the day after Christmas resulting in a snowball fight, no war, of epic proportions!

It wasn't long before spring rolled by and in early April Killian was on set finishing up shooting his last scene for Ever After when he got the call. In less than 20 minutes he was running through the front door of their home.

"Emma! Emma, love, where are you?" he shouted frantically.

"For goodness sake, stop bellowing like a wild animal!" Johana scolded him. "She's upstairs packing her hospital bag; she'll be down in a minute!"

Killian was breathing heavily, his heart racing. Johanna walked over to him and gave him a hug that would rival any boa constrictor!

"Everything is going to be fine, dear! Now go wash that ridiculous eye liner off your face and change clothes!"

Killian hadn't even realised he was still in costume, he'd rushed home so quickly. He laughed at himself and jogged upstairs. He poked his head into their bedroom where he saw Emma kneeling on the floor folding some baby clothes and putting them into a small case. She paused holding her stomach and taking deep breaths for a couple seconds then straightened up again and zipped up her case.

"Everything ok, love?"

She turned around to see him grinning excitedly at her. He shoulders dropped with relief.

"Ok now you're here! It's silly, I've done this twice already but I'm still nervous!"

He kneeled down beside her and took her hand.

"It's ok to be nervous, I'm going to be right there beside you, we can do this; you can do this!" he kissed her forehead, "God I love you Emma!"

She smiled then furrowed her brows, "Why are you still dressed like a pirate?"

He blushed, "Well I didn't want to miss anything so I may have rushed home quicker than necessary…"

She giggled then grabbed his hand tightly, breathing deeply through another contraction.

"Right well get changed quickly, it's getting close and I don't want our baby thinking its father is a buccaneer!"

The labour was relatively quick, being her third birth. Killian felt like no sooner had they entered the hospital then he was holding his daughter in his arms. Emma smiled as she watched him gently rock their baby in his arms singing softly to her. As she watched a single tear run down his cheek she swore she'd never been happier!

"You know…we still need to name her!" she said softly.

He walked over to his girlfriend, kissed their daughter on the head and carefully handed her back so Emma could feed her.

"Aye, I was thinking about that…"

"Any ideas?"

"How do you feel about Abigail, it mean's 'father's joy', and after everything that has happened, all the pain we've gone through to get here I couldn't be happier!"

Emma smiled, "Well little Abigail, what do you think of that? I think you are going to be a daddy's girl!"

(5 months later)

Killian looked out the plane window at his emerald Isle; he'd missed being at home over the summer due to his crazy schedule. He had to pack all his filming for his new movie into the 4 months of summer hiatus from Ever After. It was hectic; he was exhausted, and worst of all he missed out on summer with his family, missed out on those first few precious months of Abigail's life, not to mention his and Emma's one year anniversary. Emma had insisted he go, she knew how badly he wanted this part, it would be amazing for his career and there were already whispers of Oscar buzz surrounding it. Killian had been nominated for awards before but hadn't won any yet, this could potentially be his first Oscar nomination and she wasn't about to hinder his chances. She wouldn't even let him fly home on the weekends, saying that he needed to focus on his part. So a long distance FaceTime relationship had to do. Filming for Ever After picked up again in a week so really he was just flying home for a couple days so he could help Emma travel back to Vancouver with the four kids. He hated the fact that he'd missed their anniversary. He'd sent Emma flowers and gifts and called her but it wasn't the same, he longed to be with her, to feel her, to kiss her…he groaned, slumping in his seat; he hadn't stopped twitching the whole flight, nervous energy pulsating through him. He took the small box out of his pocket; he hadn't wanted to risk it getting lost in his luggage. The diamond sparkled brightly; he picked the ring up and moved it around watching the light hit it at every angle.

"So is this his attempt at making up for missing your anniversary?" Mary Margaret asked her friend, arms folded across her chest. The fact Killian was MIA for the anniversary seemed to annoy her more than Emma.

"For the hundredth time, he wanted to come home for it, I wouldn't let him!" Emma rolled her eyes at her friend and sister-in-law.

"I don't know how you can be so relaxed about your boyfriend spending his summer in Margot Robbie's arms on some tropical location"

Emma sighed, "He's an actor Mary Margaret! They were acting! I know how Killian feels about me, and this movie was an opportunity I wasn't going to let him miss, or screw up because he was missing me. And yes, since you asked…tonight he is making up for missing our anniversary!" She gave a twirl, "Now tell me what you think of my dress!"

"I think you'll be lucky if you make it to dinner looking like that! He'll devour you Emma, especially if he's spent the last 4 months celibate!"

Emma blushed, "well I guess technically celibate, we just had to find more creative ways to satisfy those needs…"

Mary Margaret looked at the IPad propped up on the bedside table, "Ew, I don't want to know!"

Emma opened her jewellery box and put on the diamond pear drop earrings Killian gave her for their date to the IFTA's and a diamond tennis bracelet, Killian's anniversary present. She slipped on some black heels and took one last look at the deep red backless dress she'd picked for the evening. He'd mentioned in a past conversation that red was his favourite colour and she'd made a mental note, she'd been thinking about their reunion since the day he left and she wanted everything to be perfect. She sprayed some of his favourite perfume and then heard her phone vibrate on the dresser behind her; she smiled seeing his name appear on the screen.

 **Hey Love, the car should be there soon to pick you up, I'll meet you there! I can't wait! Love you! Kx**

Emma had no idea where they were going; just that they were going to stay overnight and dinner was formal dress. She chewed on her bottom lip smiling and quickly typed out a reply.

 **I hope you got some sleep on the flight…because you're not getting much tonight! E. x**

 **Minx! I'll hold you to that promise darling! K. x**

The doorbell rang and Emma grabbed her overnight bag, ran downstairs, kissed each of the kids and hugged Mary Margaret "Thanks for babysitting! I owe you one!"

"Just have fun, don't worry about us we'll be fine. Tell Killian we say hi!"

Emma opened the front door to see a sleek black Audi R8 waiting outside; the driver hopped out the car and took her bag, "Thank you! I don't suppose you can tell me where I'm going?"

The man smiled, "Afraid not ma'am, sworn to secrecy!" he winked and Emma rolled her eyes biting back her smile, in just a few minutes she was going to see Killian and she could barely contain her excitement.

Killian left the hotel reception, after leaving strict instructions with the staff about how he wanted their room to look when they came back after dinner. He jumped in a taxi, dressed in his Armani Suit and told the driver, "Restaurant Patrick Guilbaud please" he checked his watch; he should make it there before Emma, with enough time to have a quick drink to calm his nerves. He patted the inside pocket of his jacket again checking for the hundredth time that the small ring box was still there. Tonight was the night; He'd been planning this for almost a year, playing with the idea of it for longer, but the last thing he wanted was to send Emma running again, the way she had when he first kissed her, and then again when he asked her to move in. The plan had been to ask her after a couple months of living together but then when he found out she was pregnant his plan was on hold, he didn't want her thinking that was the reason he was asking, that he felt some sort of obligation. He needed her to know that he wanted this, more than anything he wanted to call Emma his wife. Butterflies were soaring in his stomach as the taxi pulled up at the Michelin star restaurant. _"Ok Jones, this is your moment!"_

As Emma was being led to their table she couldn't help but blush when her eyes locked with Killian and she saw him rise from his seat, jaw almost hitting the floor as his eyes drifted from hers down her body and back up.

 _"Guess the dress is a hit then!"_ she thought smugly to herself; he walked to her and gave her a hug and chaste kiss on the lips, they were in a public restaurant after all!

"Swan, you look…" he searched his mind for the right word but none of them seemed to do her justice.

"I know..." she smiled at him. "You look pretty damn good yourself!"

His eyes twinkled happily and he flashed her his most charming smile, his confidence slowly returning. They took their seats and he ordered a bottle of champagne.

"What are we celebrating tonight?" She asked.

"Our anniversary of course!"

His tongue brushed his bottom lip and the intensity of his stare was enough to wake a pool of desire in her core. He poured two glasses for them.

"Just don't drink too much darling; I want you sober for what I have planned for you." She told him.

His eyebrow cocked up, amusement playing on his face.

"Is that so, love? And what exactly do you have planned for me?"

Emma slowly rubbed her foot against the back of his calf, causing his eyes to widen then darken instantly.

"Patience…" she teased him.

His hand shot down and grabbed her tightly by the ankle, stilling her foot.

"Emma, I'm trying to be a gentleman and wine and dine you before we move celebrations to our hotel room but you aren't exactly making it easy… if you don't stop I won't be able to keep myself from pulling you into the restrooms and taking you right now in this restaurant, so unless that's what you want to happen, I suggest you stop…now!"

Every inch of Emma's body was screaming at her not to stop, to call his bluff, to revel in being ravished hungrily by him in a fancy restaurant restroom…but she knew he had carefully planned this evening and she didn't want to ruin any of his preparations. Biting her lip, she carefully moved her foot back to the floor, was that a look of disappointment briefly crossing his face? She decided to behave herself and wait and see what Killian had arranged for the evening; she changed the conversation.

"Tell me about filming in the Mediterranean." It was the best she could come up with and she was genuinely interested about his experience being in a high budget movie, with such high profile cast mates.

He exhaled and closed his eyes for a moment to regain his composure, then smiled slyly at her.

"Oh you know, exotic locations, amazing food, beautiful people…it was torture…" he winked at her.

"Not cool Jones!" Emma scoffed, kicking him under the table.

"Hey I thought we agreed no more footsie!"

"OK, OK!" she held her hands up in surrender, "So when is the premier?"

"November, they're working round the clock to get post production finished so the movie can hit theatres in time to hopefully catch this year's Oscar nominations…" he shook his head in disbelief. "Of course there is no guarantee the academy will like it…"

She reached over and took his hand. "We'll just wait and see! I'm excited to watch it with you…anything I need to prepare myself for ahead of time?" she asked hesitantly.

He rubbed behind his ear, blushing slightly, "It's a complex character, not necessarily a likeable one, there is a torture scene, and then Robbie and I…well we have a pretty intense scene…the movie is rated R for a reason…"

"I see…" she bit her lip, she knew he had sex scenes and she was completely fine with it, but watching it on the big screen would be something she'd have to mentally prepare herself for. "And…how was it…?"

He raised his eyebrow. "How was…?"

"God Killian, are you going to make me spell it out? How was the sex scene with arguably one of the most beautiful women in the world?" her tone wasn't angry, just curious.

He shrugged, "awkward…if I'm being honest. You're wearing next to nothing in a room full of people giving you direction, they had to put so much makeup on me to try and cover how much I was blushing…it was pretty bloody humiliating."

Emma giggled, "Not you're sexiest moment then!"

He laughed, "No definitely not!"

He reached out and squeezed her hand, then ran his thumb across her knuckles, stopping at her ring finger subconsciously rubbing circles around where he hoped his diamond ring would be by the end of the night. He looked thoughtful and Emma eyed him curiously.

"They make those scenes look far more enjoyable then they actually are, but then that's the magic of film making!" he stopped his thumb, realising what he was doing, and looked up at her. "If you don't want to watch it, we can do the red carpet and then just slip out of the theatre before the film starts, I don't mind!"

She thought for a moment then replied, "No, I want to see it, you're a brilliant actor, Killian, I'm really proud of you getting this role, besides, I've never confused you with one of your characters before, I know the difference!"

He leaned forward, "Really? Are you trying to tell me you didn't fall for me because you had a massive crush on Captain Hook?" His eyebrows were sky high and he smiled mischievously as he teased her.

She blushed, "I did not have a 'massive crush' on Hook!" She protested.

"Oh, so you just had my action figure as an investment, hoping it'd be worth something someday?"

"Who told you I had…" she stopped then groaned, "I'm going to kill Mary Margaret!"

"Don't worry Swan" he chuckled, "I'm flattered…really! And if they ever made an Emma Swan action figure you could damn well guarantee I'd buy one!"

"Well at least I know what to get you for Christmas this year!"

They carried on through the meal laughing together; Emma filled Killian in on the kids and what milestones Kathryn and Abigail had reached; how the boys were doing with their soccer. Killian explained his upcoming schedule to her and they discussed the logistics of moving their family of 6 back to Vancouver.

Eventually the check came and it was time for the car to pick them up to take them to their hotel, Killian put his suit jacket over her shoulders to shelter her from the cool night air. Now they were outside, no longer with the table as a barrier, his arm didn't leave her waist, he climbed into the back of the car with her and held her hand the whole ride, he'd waited 4 months to see her, he wasn't about to let her go!

As soon as they reached the hotel elevator Emma had pushed Killian up against the wall covering his face with kisses, moving from his lips to his jaw, down his neck, her fingers messing up his hair then moving down to start unbuttoning his shirt. He began to chuckle and grabbed her wrists to stop her.

"Fuck Emma!"

"Yes, that's kind of the idea!"

"Em, these elevators have security cameras, I'd rather not give them a show!"

Emma giggled; feeling embarrassed "I didn't know!"

"It's OK, love." He stroked her cheek, "I want you too…I just need to do something first…"

She looked at him with a confused expression, "what?"

"Patience, love!" He smiled; his heart pounding.

The elevator doors opened and he led her down the hotel corridor to their room, he took a deep breath and opened the door.

Emma gasped!


	22. Chapter 22

When Killian opened the door Emma couldn't believe her eyes, the room was filled with pink orchids, basking in the golden glow coming from the numerous lit candles dotted around the room. She slowly walked into their suite taking in the beauty surrounding her. There was a large four poster bed, an open fire crackling away with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket and two glass flutes on a small table next to it. All surrounded with beautiful orchids.  
"Oh Killian" she whispered, "it's so beautiful!"

He gently took his jacket off her shoulders, reached into the pocket and took out the ring box and went down on one knee. When Emma turned around her hand shot up to her mouth, her eyes were wide with surprise and tears were stinging the corners threatening to fall any moment.

Killian took a deep breath and began.

"Emma, I've loved you for so long! That first rainy miserable night that I met you on set it was like I'd been living in black and white and suddenly I saw you and the world was colourful again. At the time I didn't know it was love at first sight, I was switched off to that possibility so I didn't recognise what was right there in front of me but I knew I needed to get to know you. You've helped me in more ways than I could have ever imagined; you've been my support, my comforter, my sounding board, my advisor, and my friend. You've loved my son and I, you've nourished us, cherished us, and unconditionally cared for us like it was the most natural thing for you to do. You're intelligent, strong, beautiful, and the bravest woman I've ever met. You've loved me when I needed love most, understood me when I felt nobody could begin to understand, you've stood by me through my triumphs and my mistakes. You've given me a family, another son and two daughters! Emma, you're my world!

I knew I wanted to marry you when I asked you to move in, the decision was already made in my mind, the only future I wanted was one with you! I kept quiet though, not wanting to scare you off and then when I found out you were expecting our child my heart felt like it would burst! But still I held off asking you because I didn't want there to be any doubt in your mind, I didn't want you thinking I was asking out of obligation so I waited, and god Emma, the waiting near killed me! But I can't wait any longer, Emma will you marry me?"

She blinked back the tears leaning down and taking his face in her hands and kissing him softly breathing the word "yes". He slipped the princess cut diamond ring onto her finger.

"It's stunning!" She gasped.

He smirked at her, "So are you Emma."

Before she knew what was happening he scooped her up in his arms bridal style and carried her to their bed.

They were curled up in their bed basking in each other's glow when Killian's phone began to buzz on the bedside table. He ignored it nuzzling his nose into Emma's neck and lacing his fingers through her hair. Emma giggled and once again Killian's phone began to buzz.

"Babe, maybe you should get that."

"Mmmmm?"

He was planting little kisses along her jaw and down her neck to her shoulder. For the third time his phone started buzzing. Emma pulled away.

"Killian, just answer it, it could be important!"

He groaned and reached over answering groggily.

"Hello?"

...

"Wait...what?"

...

"Are you serious?"

Killian sat bolt upright. A pit formed in Emma's stomach, what now? Her fears subsided when she saw a huge smile spread across his face.

"Ha! That's bloody fantastic! Thanks so much, love!"

Emma raised her eyebrows waiting for an explanation. Killian rubbed his face with his hand trying to come to terms with what he just heard, shaking his head and smiling in disbelief.

"I've been nominated for an Oscar!"

Emma's jaw dropped. "Babe that's amazing!" She threw her arms around his neck and they both fell into a fit of laughter.

They finally calmed down, she was lying on her back on their bed, hair fanned out around her head covering the pillow, his face grew serious and he leaned down on top of her pressing his lips against her in a slow passionate kiss. He lifted himself up slightly and said,

"I will never forget tonight, you've made me the happiest man alive!"

"Doesn't hurt that you've been nominated for an Oscar too!" She joked.

"It pales in comparison, love."

She reached up around his shoulders and pulled him back down to meet her lips.

Killian had long believed nothing could top that moment Emma agreed to marry him, winning the Oscar a few months later was arguably the greatest moment of his career and something he was very flattered and humbled by but it didn't come close. Nothing came close, that is until today. Standing there before their friends and family watching his beautiful Swan gracefully step down the aisle towards him. She was stunning, an absolute vision, and suddenly it all came back, everything they'd been through as a couple, the highs and lows, the deaths and the births, moving from location to location, the fights, the make ups, it was all worth it, because it all led to this, this moment right now.

She hadn't even reached him yet when his eyes started tearing up, his hands were shaking, and he didn't know how he was going to speak, swallowing down a lump in his throat.

When she reached him she took his hand in hers, she wasn't shaking, she was the picture of calm and peace. His rock, his anchor. She gave him a smile and he thanked God for bringing her to set that cold rainy night.

They had opted for a quiet wedding in Ireland with just close friends and family and lots of music, dancing, and rum. After hours on the dance floor Emma excused herself and walked out on to the hotel balcony looking into the ocean. The stars shone iridescent, reflecting on the water, twinkling with each gentle wave lapping on the shore. She closed her eyes and listened to the rhythmic sound of the waves mixing with the music coming from inside. The next moment she felt his presence, she didn't need to hear him or feel him to know, she just knew he was behind her. She leaned back into him, allowing his body heat to radiate through the thin lace of her dress. He breathed on her neck, kissing her softly up to her jawline.

"Mrs Jones."

"Mr Jones" she whispered then turned to face him.

He smiled, he eyes moving back and forth between her eyes and her lips.

"Would you do me the honour of joining me for our last dance."

She reached up to meet his lips with hers.

"I'd love to" she whispered millimetres away from his lips then kissed him again and allowed him to lead her inside.


End file.
